Monzo Bank

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS - OFFICE EDITION: - Actually learn how to use the printer - Have no more than 3 empty mugs on my desk - No leaving dirty plates and cutlery in the sink - Bring in lunch at least twice a week - Remember my office pass - Book my meeting rooms in advance - Make better small talk - Not judge the colour of other people’s tea 

BACK TO WORK SMALL TALK BINGO: - ‘How about this weather, eh?’ - ‘Good Christmas?’ - ‘Good New Year?’ - ‘Any new year resolutions?’ - ‘Ugh, first day back’ - ‘Can’t believe it’s already 2025’ - ‘I’ve forgotten how to do my job!’ - ‘What’s my password?’ - ‘Can’t wait till Easter’

“Phwoar what a year” Me 3 days into 2025. 

OFFICE BEHAVIOURS THAT ARE TRAITOR-ISH: - actually circling back to that email from 2024 - not talking about how cold it is outside - booking in a meeting at 5pm on a Friday - being called Linda

THE TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE AFTER THE FESTIVE SEASON: Person 1: So I drove back home on Tuesday and the roads were really busy, then I spent Christmas Eve with my godson and then saw old friends from school down at the pub! Did you know that Sharon is now working in fintech too? Just down the road from us. Anyway, then I put on my festive Christmas PJs and in the morning I woke up at around 8am because… Person 2: Yeah it was nice thanks, how was yours?

Let’s skip all the Christmas and New Year small talk and get straight to discussing our predictions for The Traitors, shall we?

and just like that, the 2024 Year in Monzo season comes to an end… Chill guy credit: @philbbankss on IG

YEAR IN MONZO: OUTTAKES ❌ Our writers wrote over 1,600 lines of copy, jokes, and personalised moods for Year in Monzo this year. But they didn’t all make the cut ✂️ So, rather than letting them go to waste, we wanted to show them off here. Enjoy.

If your Year in Monzo mood was based around your usual office lunch spot, then we’d strongly recommend going outside more on the weekends. 

Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the house All the creatures were stirring, especially the mouse As the mouse’s Year in Monzo said they been to Pret 167 times, even though they said they were saving money this year.