When your client feels misunderstood, think of the conversation like a radio. If the signal’s fuzzy, it’s not the music’s fault—it’s the tuner that needs adjusting. First, slow down and actively listen. Echo their words back to ensure you’re on the same frequency, like fine-tuning the dial until the message is crystal clear. Ask open-ended questions to invite their deeper thoughts, much like adjusting the volume to truly appreciate the melody. Acknowledge their feelings without judgment—this is the amplifier of trust. When they see that you’re not just hearing, but understanding, they’ll feel supported. After all, even the most beautiful song needs the right station to truly be heard.

I actively listen without interrupting, giving them space to express fully. I validate their feelings by acknowledging their emotions and experiences. I ask open-ended questions to encourage deeper sharing. I reflect their words back to show I understand their perspective. I maintain eye contact and positive body language to convey empathy. I clarify by summarizing and checking if I’ve captured their thoughts correctly. I remind them it’s a safe space and that their voice truly matters.

Listen actively: Focus fully on their words, emotions, and nonverbal cues without interrupting. Reflect back: Paraphrase their statements to confirm your understanding and show attentiveness. Ask clarifying questions: Dive deeper into their concerns to address any misunderstandings. Validate their feelings: Acknowledge their emotions to build trust and empathy. Ensuring they feel heard creates a supportive environment for meaningful progress.

I'd pause and say, “I want to make sure I truly understand what you're feeling can you help me clarify ?” I'd listen without interrupting, reflect back what I hear, and validate their emotions. My goal would be to create a safe space where they feel seen and supported.

Clashing with a client can make coaching tough, and it happens to everyone. You have your own triggers, stories, and preferences. Some clients you'll like, others you won’t—and that’s okay. Don’t blame yourself. Their behavior might trigger something in you, remind you of someone, or clash with your style. Analyze : What exactly bothers me about this client? Is it their attitude, actions, or life choices? Are they disrespectful? Do they remind me of someone from my past? Understanding the root can help you move forward effectively.

Try to relay things back to them in a method that matches how they view the world. People are a combination of visual, auditory and kinesthetic actions. They will use phrases like "I see your point", or "That doesn't sound right", or "I don't get a good feeling about that". A person using visual words with someone who is more auditory could describe the same thing perfectly, and still not understand one another. Try to mirror your responses back to your client in the same types of words they are most comfortable with.

If my client feels misunderstood, I become a detective of emotions—actively listening, reflecting their words, and asking open-ended questions to uncover what’s truly on their mind. It’s all about creating a safe space where they feel seen, heard, and valued. I ask questions such as "I can see how that might feel overwhelming" or "That sounds really important to you." "Thank you for sharing that with me. "Am I capturing this correctly?" or "Does this resonate with you?"

If a client feels misunderstood during a session, you just communicate. I might say, “It sounds like I might not be fully getting where you’re coming from, and I want to make sure I do.” Then, I ask them to share more about what they’re feeling or what they think I missed. I listen actively, making sure to reflect back what they’re saying, so they know I’m truly hearing them. I also use open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “What would make you feel more supported right now?”