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The Number ONE Thing Women Wish They Knew Before Getting Married As a working mother of two boys, I've experienced firsthand the difference an equitable partnership can make. Recently, I asked 60k women what they wish they'd known before getting married. I received over 250 responses. The overwhelming top response? The critical importance of discussing the division of labor and mental load before tying the knot. Unfortunately, the stats on domestic labor and childcare are reflective of what happens when the division of labor and childcare is not equitable: - 9.8 million working mothers suffer from burnout, with even higher rates for women of color. - Women do about 2.6 times more household work and childcare than men. - 1 in 3 working mothers considered downshifting their careers or leaving their jobs during the pandemic. - The "motherhood penalty" costs women an average of $16,000 in annual wages. These numbers are staggering, but they don't surprise me. After the birth of our first son, my husband and I initially fell into traditional gender roles. I found myself drowning in the mental load, constantly anticipating needs, making decisions, and monitoring results for our household. After weeks of tears and arguing, we finally sat down and discussed how to move forward. We discussed the division of labor and mental load, and it brought to light the glaring inequities. These conversations continue to this day as our lives, work, and kids are always evolving. The result? I've reclaimed time for personal hobbies, I was able to start my own business, and it has allowed me to find fulfillment outside of work and motherhood. It’s important that we tell young women about these inequities that they are likely to experience after marriage and children. Explain that they need to discuss how to divide household responsibilities, childcare duties, and the invisible mental load. It's not just about fairness; it's about creating a sustainable, fulfilling life for both partners. And to the working moms carrying an unfair burden: You're not alone. It's okay to expect more participation from your partner, to demand equity, and to prioritize your well-being. Your career, your mental health, and your personal fulfillment matter. What's your experience with division of labor in your household? Let's start a conversation and support each other in creating more equitable partnerships. #workingmoms  #genderequality #worklifebalance #mentalload #equitablepartnerships

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