How can you facilitate a productive conversation between two team members who are not getting along?

Say with me - 'I'm NOT running an interpersonal skill coaching academy.' This isn't a situation leading to disagreement, rather two adults, (professionals🙄) not getting along. There's a big diff. Your priority is to ensure the Organizational vision is envisaged and realized. You want to spend less time adulting your team. So, 1. Talk to each and then talk to both. Try to get them to be co-working adults who have to put the team/ Organization, before themselves and their personality tug of war. At least, one of the two, usually, get the cue > feel embarrassed > issues go away (this shows character). 2. Personalities are hard to change, it's easier to move/ swap within the team in a way to limit interaction between the two for work.

Shift the focus from conflict to collaboration through purposeful team-building activities. By redirecting their energy towards common goals, you encourage a shift in perspective and build a foundation for better interpersonal understanding within the team.

To mediate between clashing team members I found very helpful to use some powerful psychological techniques to uncover hidden, deeply rooted relational causes of such conflict. For example you could harness Transactional Analysis to decipher their communication patterns. Often, conflict arises when one communicates from a 'parent' ego-state, while the other reacts from a 'child' state. With Attachment Theory, you might also uncover how their past relationships impact present interactions. For instance, a member with anxious attachment might misinterpret neutral actions as neglect. By pinpointing these psychological roots, you can guide them towards understanding and resolving their differences, fostering a more harmonious collaboration.

It starts with separate conversations with both parties. If you are a hands on leader you should already have a sense of what’s going on. Conflict isn’t difficult to spot if you’re paying attention. Listen to each person. Let them vent a bit. Then redirect to finding a productive outlet. Find out what they see as the fox for them, for their colleague, and the team/project. In some cases you may need to ask both parties to stay away from one another. Remember that both sides will have truth to their stories. And they’ll have emotion as well. Best case is to pull them together and help them resolve the issue. You need them to find a path to co-exist for the greater good of the team/company.

When there are learned people in a group differences are bound to be there In a situation of conflict amongst my team members, generally my way has been to understand from the parties involved about their perspectives and the larger view of the requirement in order that without bias the situation could be assessed Having known the three it can be easily assessed the reasons for disconnect and then comes the agreement on a common way forward which essentially is solved by a dialogue between parties with pros and cons of each one's perspective ...

In this situation, I'll set up separate 1:1 meetings with each party to gather feedback and information from both sides. This will help to prepare for a follow-up mediation. By this moment, I've established trust with my team members, having created a space of open communication, transparency, and support. Come into the conversation open-minded, ready to listen, and from a perspective that isn't biased, giving a fair chance for both parties to share their perspectives.

Assessing the situation is crucial for effective conflict resolution. I'd advise adding one more step: Foster a safe space for each team member to express their perspective. Often, conflicts arise from miscommunication or differing viewpoints. Encourage open dialogue and active listening to uncover the root causes. This not only resolves the current issue but also builds stronger communication skills within the team. 🤝 #ConflictResolution #TeamworkMatters

When two team members disagree, it may be helpful to direct the conversation towards something they agree on. For example, if the disagreement is on how to solve a problem, then it may be helpful to acknowledge that everyone is working to solve the same problem. From there, try to continue the conversation by reviewing the options discussed and evaluate them based on feasibility. Evaluations may include assessing resources available, time constraints, or overall cost. It may be helpful to document any agreements or open decisions to avoid having misunderstandings in the future.

In managing conflict between team members, it's important to clearly define the objective or purpose of the conversation. Be sure to outline the terms of engagement - allowing both parties to speak without interruption, actively listening, and being respectful. Define the expected outcome of the meeting.

Emphasize that the desired outcome of the conversation is not for them to become best friends. It's about identifying how they can work together to meet the objectives of the overall team, and what they need to do differently or put aside in order to achieve a business outcome. Give them permission to not like each other, but make it an absolute that they have to respect each other.

Prior to the meeting, request each team member to individually record their perspectives on the conflict. This written exercise serves as a structured avenue for articulating thoughts and enables individuals to contemplate their own roles in the matter. Sharing these reflections anonymously in the meeting promotes empathy and a profound understanding of each other's viewpoints, unveiling common ground and establishing a foundation for constructive dialogue.

Setting the right ground rules is like laying the foundation for a productive conversation. I often find that emphasizing active listening and empathy in these ground rules can go a long way. Encouraging team members to truly hear each other out and understand their perspectives can be a game-changer in resolving conflicts. 🤝 #ConflictResolution #LeadershipAdvice

Include an unbiased third party, such as a human resources professional or a team leader unrelated to the conflict, to facilitate the meeting. Their responsibility is to steer the conversation, ensuring compliance with established ground rules and fostering a balanced dialogue, thereby creating a secure environment for open communication and promoting a fair resolution process.

Navigating conversations between team members with differing views demands emotional intelligence. This involves keen self-awareness and empathy. Begin with active listening, intently absorbing what each individual shares. Reflect their sentiments back to them by paraphrasing, ensuring that you've grasped their emotions and perspectives. Periodically summarize the discussion, steering the dialogue towards mutual understanding. Clarify points of confusion to get participants are on the same page. Maintain your neutrality. While your insights are valuable, steer clear of taking sides or imposing views. Your role is to foster understanding, not to offer solutions. True dialogue aims to bridge understanding more than resolving disputes.

Facilitating dialogue is probably one of the most overlooked areas. In a situation where two people aren't getting along, they are going to be defensive. They will likely be waiting to speak instead of listening for understanding. I explain the technique before they start. - Each will get their turn - The turn looks like... person A shares their experience. Person B says "what I heard you say is..." and "is there more?". That's it. No rebuttals. All they are doing is saying what they heard. - Person A can say more if there is more. If there is, then Person B repeats back what they heard. - When Person A is done / "there is no more"... then it's person B's turn to do the same. Then... only then... does discussion happen.

Creating a safe and open space for them to speak their minds is key. Encourage active listening, and remind them that it's about understanding, not winning. Ask open-ended questions to dig deeper into their perspectives and needs. Your impartiality is vital in ensuring a fair resolution🙌 #ConflictResolution #LeadershipConsulting

Speak to each team member separately. Listen quietly and understand without judging. Allow the individual to speak freely and vent. This helps to gather up all the necessary information before bringing both parties together to discuss.

When it comes to identifying root causes, it is helpful to encourage open, non-judgmental dialogue. Create a safe space for team members to express themselves honestly. Sometimes, conflicts arise from miscommunication or misunderstandings. Active listening and empathy can go a long way in uncovering these hidden triggers. Once the underlying issues are unearthed, it becomes easier to find common ground and build a stronger, more cohesive team. 🤝 #ConflictResolution #TeamHarmony

Fostering an environment where team members feel safe to share and evaluate options is key. It's not just about finding a solution but ensuring both parties have their needs met. Open dialogue and creative problem-solving can truly transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and collaboration. 🙌 #ConflictResolution #Teamwork

This part is all about making the employees take action. The simple act of the co-operating on recording the actions. They should ones to draft the record of the actions. The manager should not create the document. The employees need to own the action.

Empower team members to want to overcome obstacles and conflict. By this point, they've been given ideas, feedback, and guidance on how they can collaborate with others, navigate through diverse thoughts, and overcome challenges. While team members have ownership of the next steps and action plan, ensure that you maintain an open channel for any needed follow-ups and feedback conversations.

There’s a difference between ‘getting along/being friends’ and understanding that the reason you’re in the same building and company is to do ‘a job’ for which a salary is paid. Getting along is great but if they don’t, it’s not really relevant. What matters, and this is important, is that they show, deserve, and earn respect. If they don’t get along, that’s ok, that’s a choice. Respect is not a choice. It’s mandatory.

To facilitate a productive conversation between conflicting team members, follow these steps: Arrange a private, neutral setting. Encourage each to express their perspective. Act as a mediator, ensuring respectful dialogue. Find common ground and shared goals. Discuss solutions and a plan for collaboration. Follow up to ensure progress.

Depending on the size of the company, people don't have to get along to be in business together, but they do have respect one another. Find the intent of the parties & if both after focused on the greater good, utilize the skillsets without collaboration. If the jobs require frequent participation, encourage sharing ideas after meetings and use intermediaries. Sometimes the best perspectives are conflicting perspectives. As long as the room is cordial, embrace the differences.

I think emotional intelligence should play an important role in this as well. Knowing how both parties are feeling based on body language is crucial because a person’s words might not always be available. Once this is determined, a more effective solution can be created.

Despite your best efforts, if both team members are still at loggerheads with each other, and it is affecting team morale, then seek guidance from your manager and/or HR. There might be options to move one or both team members to other teams or projects.