Why Can’t I Have What They Have?

oblitre, verb

uh•blit•ree 1: abbreviation for obliterate to remake: TRANSFORM 2: the act of taking something apart to combine the working pieces with new ones to create something that encourages growth: REBUILD

Why Can’t I Have What They Have?

There are those friends (or sometimes clients) who you’ve been cheering on for years. And then, one day, you see that they finally start meeting some of the business goals they’ve been going after for a long, long time.

How does that feel?

Let’s be honest. It’s a mix of emotions, isn’t it? You’re so thrilled for them, but in the back of your mind you might also be wondering, “Why hasn’t that happened for me yet?”

That’s when the evil c-word creeps in: comparison.

The idea we’re obliterating today:

We can compare our professional journeys to the journeys of others to determine whether we’re making it.

The remake:

In my experience, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to growing a business or building a personal brand. I get messages from “marketing experts” every day who promise that if I use their method or service, my business will finally be seeing $50,000 months. Sound familiar?

But that doesn’t work with my business model because part of what makes my brand what it is can only be built by employing customization. And customization doesn’t scale the way a one-size-fits-all business model does.

And when I look at my business friends and think, “If I just do what they do, I can have what they have,” that probably also isn’t going to work out. So, how is all this going to show up emotionally?

It is entirely possible to feel more than one thing at once. You can feel elation and excitement for your friend who is doing what they’ve always hoped to do—while you also feel discouraged and tired because your hopes aren’t turning into reality.

When I feel stuck between those two emotional places, I often ask myself this: “Am I still building the relationships that could lead to my breakthrough while I continue to work hard to grow as a professional?” Because that’s all I can really control. And trying to compare my unique journey to someone else’s is often an exercise in futility.

I can only compare myself now to myself in the past if I truly want to measure growth and success.

One Lit Moment:

“Envy hurt exponentially more than heartbreak because your soul was torn in two, half soaring with happiness for another person, half mired in a well of self-pity and pain.”

–Diana Peterfreund, For Darkness Shows the Stars

What Kristin is Writing/Thinking About:

I’ve noticed that there are a lot fewer posts hopping onto my social feeds as we head further into summer, and I’m good with that.

Last year at this time I was hustling too much. This year I’m more focused on helping my kids grow into who they’re becoming while laser focusing on what I really want to do with my business. Stay tuned for a cool opportunity to work with me and other amazing business professionals to hone your professional and personal communication foundations in a complimentary workshop coming soon.

You are amazing, I believe in you, and you can absolutely obliterate to remake.

Talk soon,

Kristin N. Spencer