The Irony is Stark: To Be or Not To Be "Woke"

When did showing respect, thoughtfulness, and awareness become divisive? The term “woke” has been dragged through the cultural mud, transforming from behaviors that called for treating people with dignity into a polarizing term that has often been dismissed as excessive or political. But at its core, being so-called “woke” is simply about being mindful of others’ experiences and striving to treat people the way they want to be treated. While much attention is given to criticizing so-called “woke” behaviors, less attention is paid to their opposite—and the impact of ignoring, dismissing, or even perpetuating harmful disrespectful practices, behaviors and attitudes that cause harm or exclusion.

The irony is stark. When being alert to racist behaviors is deemed more offensive than the racist behaviors themselves, we create a culture that discourages civility and emboldens harmful behaviors. It sends a troubling message: being mindful of others is the problem, not the systems or actions that create unfairness in the first place.

So why has this term sparked such heated debates? And what does the opposite of so-called “woke” really look like?

This article explores what happens when society vilifies behaviors meant to address harm and foster understanding. More importantly, it dives into the cost of choosing apathy over awareness and the mindset that not only stifles progress but emboldens harmful practices. By reframing these behaviors and focusing on shared values, we can shift the conversation and find a path forward—one that benefits individuals, organizations, and communities alike.

The Backlash Against So-called “Woke” Behaviors

Let’s start with what we know. Behaviors labeled as so-called “woke” often involve actions like creating fair hiring practices, using inclusive language, or addressing harmful jokes or stereotypes. These actions are rooted in a simple principle: respect. Yet, they’re frequently dismissed as “too much,” “politically correct,” “cancel culture gone too far” or “virtue signaling.”

Meanwhile, behaviors that perpetuate harm—like dismissive jokes, systemic exclusion, or outright discrimination—are often brushed off as harmless misunderstandings or reinterpreted rhetoric or part of “tradition.” This double standard discourages thoughtful action and sends a troubling message: striving for fairness is controversial, but tolerating harm is acceptable.

What’s Really at Stake?

When we vilify efforts to address harm, we create a chilling effect. People become hesitant to speak up, act, or even acknowledge the need for change. Organizations and leaders may avoid these conversations altogether, fearing backlash or accusations of going “too far.” The result? Harmful behaviors go unchallenged, systems of unfairness remain intact, and the progress we desperately need is stifled.

Worse, dismissing so-called “woke” behaviors emboldens those who perpetuate harm. If calling out harmful practices is seen as divisive, those causing harm may feel validated to continue their actions unchecked. This creates a culture where apathy thrives, and meaningful change becomes even harder to achieve.

The Opposite of So-Called “Woke” Behaviors

So, what is the opposite of so-called “woke”? At its core, it’s about choosing not to care -“eyes wide shut” - about others, about fairness, or about the consequences of our actions. Here’s what that looks like:

1. Willful Ignorance Choosing not to acknowledge the realities of others’ experiences, even when the evidence is clear. It’s not just about not knowing—it’s about refusing to know.

2. Indifference to Harm Turning a blind eye to behaviors or systems that hurt others, dismissing them as “not my problem” or minimizing their impact.

3. Resistance to Change Clinging to the familiar, even when it perpetuates harm, with justifications like “it’s always been this way” or “change is too difficult” or “they deserve it.”

4. Outright Hostility Mocking, dismissing, or actively opposing efforts to create fairer, more respectful environments.

These behaviors don’t just maintain the status quo—they actively harm individuals and communities, eroding trust, connection, and progress.

Why Do Some Reject So-Called “Woke” Behaviors?

Criticism of respectful behaviors often comes from discomfort or misunderstanding. Here’s why some people push back:

1. It Feels Personal: Calls for change often require self-reflection, which can feel like an attack on one’s character or identity.

2. Fear of Losing Power: Efforts to level the playing field may feel like a threat to those who have benefited from the status quo.

3. Resistance to Change: Unlearning ingrained habits or traditions is hard, and many resist the effort it requires.

4. Comfort in Familiarity: Behaviors that perpetuate harm may feel “natural” because they’ve gone unchallenged for so long.

What Are We Really Asking For?

Let’s be clear: respectful behaviors aren’t about perfection or punishment. They’re about doing better. Here’s what they ask of us:

Within Ourselves: Reflect on biases, listen to different perspectives, and challenge assumptions.

In Our Actions: Use language that shows respect, amplify all voices, especially underrepresented voices, and address harmful behaviors in real-time.

In Our Interactions: Engage thoughtfully, ensuring words and actions don’t perpetuate harm.

In Systems and Policies: Evaluate and adjust practices to ensure fairness, from hiring to leadership structures.

These changes may feel uncomfortable, but they pave the way for stronger relationships, healthier and more productive workplaces, and more connected communities.

The Cost of Apathy

When we dismiss respectful behaviors, we lose far more than we gain:

1. Harm Persists: Ignoring unfairness allows it to continue unchecked.

2. Trust Erodes: When people feel dismissed or invalidated, relationships suffer—whether in workplaces, families, or communities.

3. Progress Stalls: Growth requires change, and refusing to engage holds everyone back.

4. Exclusion Becomes the Norm: Normalizing harm alienates those already marginalized while hurting the group perpetuating the harm. This creates an even deeper divides.

The Cost of Inaction

The resistance to so-called “woke” behaviors isn’t just about discomfort—it’s about the broader impact of choosing inaction. When efforts to address inequity are dismissed, the following happens:

• Racist Behaviors Become Emboldened If striving for awareness and equity is framed as divisive, people who perpetuate harm feel validated. The message is clear: addressing harm is controversial, but causing harm is tolerable.

• Systemic Inequities Persist Without action, the systems and structures that exclude, marginalize, and harm people remain intact. The status quo continues to benefit some at the expense of others, deepening inequality.

• Communities and Organizations Suffer Ignoring inequities damages morale, trust, and cohesion. Companies that fail to act risk alienating employees and customers, while communities that resist change remain divided and stagnant.

So, what is the opposite of being so-called “woke”? At its core, it’s about choosing apathy, willful ignorance, or indifference toward others’ lived experiences and struggles. To close one’s eyes to injustice and go to “sleep” as we disconnect ourselves from our own humanity. It’s the rejection of awareness and accountability in favor of comfort, familiarity, or even hostility. This mindset not only stifles community but also creates environments where harm goes unchecked, normalized, or worst yet, encouraged.

Reframing the Conversation

To move forward, we need to reframe so-called “woke” behaviors as actions rooted in values we all share: fairness, kindness, and accountability. Here’s how:

• Focus on Shared Values: Highlight that these actions align with principles like treating others with respect and ensuring everyone has a fair chance to succeed.

• Highlight the Benefits: Show how these behaviors improve morale, innovation, productivity and trust in workplaces and communities.

• Use Relatable Language: Replace jargon with clear, accessible terms that resonate with everyday experiences.

• Lead with Stories: Share personal narratives that illustrate the positive impact of these actions.

The Real Question

What kind of world do we want to create? Do we want workplaces where people feel valued, communities where everyone can thrive, and relationships built on respect and understanding? Or do we want a world where harm is ignored, and thoughtfulness is seen as a burden?

The opposite of so-called “woke” behaviors isn’t neutrality—it’s active disengagement, and that choice has consequences. Engagement doesn’t mean perfection; it means trying, learning, and growing together. It means choosing to be human.

Let’s challenge the idea that dignity and respect are “too much.” Instead, let’s embrace them as essential steps toward a future where everyone can succeed.

By: Dr. Steven Jones, CEO

Global LeaderSHYFT, inc.