Ask not have I got presence as a leader, but if I can be present with what is and lead.

I'm asked a lot by leaders, about how they can have more presence within their organisations, with boards, investors and the media. In the question of, 'Have I got presence?' or 'How do I improve my presence?', I find what is usually being sought is the ability to influence, to own a room, to command a level of control. 

I'd like to see a different approach to presence considered alongside this one. One that considers presence as the ability to physically, emotionally and mentally 'be with' what is present in each moment. To have the physiological capacity to be with whatever is felt by others, whatever is unfolding as events right now and to be with the past, the present and the possible future. 

And when I say 'be with', what I really mean is, have a trained capacity to not only accept that these factors exist, but actually embrace them. Welcome them in, as part of the actual landscape of what is. 

Why? Because when we sit in presence with what actually exists - in the technicolor of diversity - we see all the parts of the puzzle. Only with this level of clarity can we design and communicate pathways forward as leaders that actually begin to change the status quo we get so frustrated with. 

When we look to 'influence', 'own', 'command' we're working from a lack of trust. When we don't trust as leaders, our voice carries that message. The reason people don't like being communicated to from this lack of trust is because it reinforces a message that they are 'lacking'. This leadership style ultimately relies on people being smaller, so that you can be bigger. 

But what of a leadership style that gave presence to other people's capacity and greatness, through an ability to be present with all parts of them? Present with their fears and worries at the same time as being present with their potential and their capacity for growth. This ability to 'be present with' offers a deep safety and deep connection. And in turn, I believe, offers a presence of leadership that feels expansive - because we sense not only their capacity, but our own when we are with them.

I think the world needs more leaders with the ability to be present. What do you think?