Advent Calendar of Career Hacks - Special Gender Edition

By popular demand I republish the Career Hacks in one place. They were daily posts in December 2022 and now assembled as an article. They're everyday tips to help female professionals like you and me live our best life despite the structures we know stand in the way. They're also food for thought for male readers who wonder what the problem is, and don't dare ask. You are welcome and invited as allies.

A balanced gender distribution especially in leadership is better for business because it gives us higher decision quality and opens up much-needed talent turf. But fundamentally my reasons come from a place that is deeply personal. I struggle to be lighthearted sometimes, because even subtle oppression and micro-discrimination fills me with indignation. Gender is still the explanation for the massively unequal distribution of the globe's power and wealth.

During my awakening to these facts, I have searched but found that there is no culprit. The system we live in is perpetuated by men and women alike, and we all benefit from dismantling it.

🦌Welcome to The Career Advent Calendar - Special Gender Edition!

It’s exactly one year ago it was last Christmas. But instead of getting one year closer to achieving global gender equality, The World Economic Forum now calculates it will happen in 132 years if we continue at the current pace.

For each workday of December I will share one action that we can take, to help close the gender gap just a little bit sooner. While we wait for the glorious year 2154 we might as well make ourselves useful.

❤️ Marry Your Best Friend

Love is great, but you need to live as well. There is no (bio)logical reason one gender should do more housework. If you've ever been a group of all-boys or all-girls on holiday then you know things get done automatically when everyone are considered equal. In the same way we need to work as a team at home, so we have the same chance of pursuing our dreams. Those dreams can be quality time with the kiddos and not a big career - but they're never (ever) emptying the dishwasher.

To be equal at work, you must also be equal at home. So when you select your partner, look for team skills.

⛄ The Race is long. Give yourself a break

For readers who balance work and young kids at the same time: we see you! The grind doesn't get much tougher than the phase you are in right now. If you put work on the back burner for a while don't worry about missing out. Taking leave or going on part time are options created for a reason, so don’t hesitate to use them. When you return to work, you'll find your colleagues refining the same power points they did when you left. And even if you did miss out, then you have decades of work life to catch up.

 Disclaimer: this hack only works if you also followed hack # 2 and married your best friend. Else you are at risk of just swapping paid work for unpaid work ❄️

🎄 RESIST the urge

Regardless of your job, if you're female certain tasks will gravitate towards you: sending flowers, taking minutes, organizing parties. 

Sometimes the pull towards these tasks might even come from within yourself 🤔. Like clearing the table after a working lunch. This is not purely because used napkins smell during meetings. It's called internalized sexism and women can thank parents, society and advertising for this urge to serve.

By performing extra service tasks you will make more work for yourself and prevent others from stepping up. Instead experiment and see how long it takes for someone else to volunteer. Men do this all the time and we love them none the less.

🤶 Verbalise Your Dreams

Find out what you want - and tell your boss. Your boss probably went on a management training course about development talks, so make them work for their salary.

• Maybe you want new tasks
• Maybe you want a higher salary
• Maybe you want their job one day

 Quietly working hard and waiting to be discovered is also known as The Tiara Syndrome 👸 and it is not an effective career strategy. One reason women are paid less for equal work is because they ask for less - or don't ask at all.

👼 Network, Network, Network

 Hard Work & High Performance is not enough. If you want to grow your career you must understand the mechanisms of recruitment and promotion.

Partner up with people who can explain the system and help you succeed. Stay in touch with former colleagues. Invest in a professional coach. You might also benefit from more than one mentor: an internal one to sponsor you and an external one who “made it” to guide you.

 Networking is not cheating, it is learning the rules of the game.

🎁 You do You

 I don’t know who needs to hear this but Equality is not Sameness

I’ve often been the only woman at the table and found myself trying to be like the others. I toned down the outfit. I saved a cute story about the kids for another occasion.

Respectfully integrating is good, but if we assimilate then we miss the point of diversity.

Most women would lose an arm-wrestling match with any guy, and we find that completely uncontroversial. Women should compete at being themselves, however that plays out: Maybe up for a Friday beer. Maybe into green juice. Maybe turn up in suit and tie. Maybe with bells on.

🎄The First Follower

If you sometimes read about gender on social media, you know this topic can detonate the comment field and rile up otherwise peaceful friends and colleagues 🌋

If you quietly agree with the issue but haven't got the stomach to start the debate, then there is another critical role for you: Be the first follower.

When someone publicly brings up bias or inequality, you can make a massive difference just by nodding your head, liking a post or saying "I agree”.

Advocates without followers just look a bit looney. Check the youtube video about “The Dancing Guy” if you wanna see for yourself 👀

 Support those who lean in!

🦌 Stay Away from My Sister

Try a crazy experiment. It's more shocking than the ice bucket challenge and more difficult than giving up chocolate for new year's:

Try one month of not criticizing women 😱

I often hear about female leaders who are too quiet, too loud, too "bossy" (what does that even mean?) or who "probably had surgery".

There is no shortage of judgment of women who put themselves out there. Especially comments about appearance seem more plentiful for one gender.

Todays advice is to double check with ourselves before we speak, and to challenge others. Ask "Is this relevant?"

❄️ Don't buy the Excuses

"We just want the best person for the job!" It's hard not to agree with such a statement but watch out: it is loaded with commitment to status quo.

The best-for-the-job philosophy has landed us in a situation where the best person is a man in 92% of the cases, for CEOs globally.

In the world of music where interviews are conducted behind a screen, the gender distribution is 50/50. There are many reasons for the imbalance in leadership, but none of which will be fixed by good intentions.

"Free Choice" sounds enticing but why does half the population "freely" waver influence and wealth?

Same as in traffic we all know we shouldn't break the speed limit, but lawmakers pepper the signs with fines to get the right behavior.

⛄ Don't deny the issue

I used to roll my eyes at female-only initiatives 🙄 "Some women just want it handed to them. I'll work hard and succeed without special help!"

How naïve I was. It was only later I started noticing the barriers. Whilst I unquestionably come from privilege, as a woman I had to work harder than my male peers to achieve less. Bias and structures were in my way.

As painful as it may be to accept, there are injustices very close to home for women across the globe. Even if you might feel exempt yourself, others are not.

Accept the support you get, without hesitation.

👧 Career & Family

Of course there is no such thing as "having it all", if that means lots of time off + a demanding job at the same time. 

But it is not impossible to grow your career and have a family life. If you're clocking into work every day, you might as well make it count. The truth is that you can keep working very hard at entry level. Don't let anything steal that sacred kiddo time, but don't underestimate what you can achieve professionally. Communicate clear boundaries with your leader, lean on your partner and don't expect domestic perfection. There is a great service called Wolt, that has fueled many a tired parent's career.

If you want both, then a developmental career & family life can perfectly co-exist.

🎄Keep Going

 "Why do you have to make everything about gender?"

Someone asked me this, after they had shared their obsession with Lord of The Rings. They admired the acting and the script, they loved the props: what a masterpiece. My crime was to mention that the trilogy is over 10 hours long, and the only three female characters never meet. In fact, no two female characters actually even speak to each other. In 10 hours.

My friend cares deeply about Lord of the Rings. I care deeply about gender equality.

Pointing out the everyday examples can be an isolated and ridiculed position to take. To stay in Hollywood, my advice to women and allies is: “Nolite Te Bastardes Carborundorum”

🎄 Point out the Examples

The car park at my office is top notch! It’s lined with cherry trees and there is always space. But every colleague who owns a pair of stilettos knows that it is also place to break your heels and get stuck.

The point? People don’t notice problems that don't affect them 🤷

Busted stilettos are not worth crying about but what about male politicians who think harassment is a thing of the past? Or single-gender leadership teams who think D&I is not necessary?

We can't expect bosses or politicians to mind-read. Instead, consider it a favour when you share your own experience of biais. Bonus💡 if you're an ally and not a woman you have double impact.

🦋 Don’t worry about the Butterflies

Look at yourself: where you are today was once a dream you doubted you could achieve. It’s hard to acquire new skills without a little nervousness in the beginning.

If you're prone to sweaty palms and heart palpitations don’t let that put you off. A belly full of butterflies are a healthy sign of growth. And it will pass. Most of the stuff we want is on the other side of fear.

🎬 It’s a wrap for the Career Hacks and I hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing them.

 I wish you lots of growth in your work life & a merry Christmas.

 Christmas is another holiday season based on unpaid labour 🤦 When I think back on my childhood Christmases, one person stands out: guess who decorated the house, exchanged wish lists, went gift shopping, invited the guests, set the table, prepared dinner and tidied up afterwards?

Hint: it was NOT the same person who chopped the tree 🪓🎄

Happy Holidays & we can thank our mamas by breaking the cycle