What are some ways to show self-compassion during a conversation?

Compassion is the act of wanting to relieve someone's suffering. Before we can offer ourselves compassion, therefore, there needs to be a moment of recognition - 'Oh, this hurts,' or 'I am uncomfortable. This is a moment of suffering.' When in conversation, our attention is often directed outward. So, feeling what we feel in the body is not always easy to do. We might also be unaccustomed to acknowledging when we hurt. Mindfulness meditation can be a wonderful, safe place to practice recognizing emotions in the body. In conversation, as soon as you feel an uncomfortable emotion arising, just allowing it to be there is already an act of self-compassion. So, rejoice in your ability to feel what you feel, even if it's unpleasant.

What I've found helpful is to start of by expressing empathy, then add a dash of reflection before ending the conversation with a few words of encouragement. Example: Hey how are you doing? I noticed that your energy was a bit low today. If you're still down about the mistake you made yesterday, don't be. I remember when I first started on the job, I made a few mistakes i thought would always have a negative impact on performance assessment. But I decided to not let those mishaps get the better of me. I resumed working with the intent to improve a little bit everyday and to my surprise I got an unexpected promotion a few months later on. When I look at you I seen enormous potential, I see a leader. Just remain positive and focused.

If you are experiencing an emotional overload, you should respectfully request a moment to gather your thoughts and compose yourself. During your intermission, reflect on the matter at hand and focus on finding a positive outcome. If you were previously engaged in a difficult conversation and you don't want to further escalate the situation, confront the conversation again focused, with a neutral disposition and clarity. I find myself refreshed after a pause to gather my thoughts. Practicing mindfulness daily will help you become more aware of your actions and emotions.

Understanding your position within your team dynamic or family structure is very important. You would want to be apart of a group where It's okay to express your thoughts or feelings freely. If something negative was said to you, it could dramatically affect your ability to remain focused and productive throughout the day. Bringing closure to every incident is highly recommended as it relates to fostering a healthy inclusive atmosphere. Always remember expressing your feelings is the healthy thing to do, just be respectful throughout the process.

Great listeners are often amazing leaders because they know how to pay attention and connect with the individual in that present moment. When you listen don't always believe that there is a correct response to the situation at hand. Sometimes the individual might just want you to say, " I'm hear for you." Listening attentively and using empathy might reveal that the individual might simply need a hug or just someone to talk too. I believe that at some point in our lives everyone will encounter a situation where we're they will be searching for someone to listen to the frustration, pain or discomfort they're experiencing. Being empathic builds trust, which allows a barrier free environment and autheicates connections.