Your team member gets defensive during discussions. How can you effectively communicate feedback to them?
To offer feedback to a defensive colleague, it's essential to approach the conversation with empathy and clarity. Here are strategies for effective communication:
- Use "I" statements to express your perspective without assigning blame. - Frame feedback as a shared goal for improvement, emphasizing collaboration. - Listen actively, validating their feelings while guiding the discussion back to solutions.
How have you approached giving feedback to someone who tends to be defensive?
Your team member gets defensive during discussions. How can you effectively communicate feedback to them?
To offer feedback to a defensive colleague, it's essential to approach the conversation with empathy and clarity. Here are strategies for effective communication:
- Use "I" statements to express your perspective without assigning blame. - Frame feedback as a shared goal for improvement, emphasizing collaboration. - Listen actively, validating their feelings while guiding the discussion back to solutions.
How have you approached giving feedback to someone who tends to be defensive?
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Desde mi experiencia como líder, he aprendido que abordar a un miembro del equipo que se pone a la defensiva requiere un enfoque estratégico y empático para garantizar una comunicación efectiva y constructiva. Primero, es esencial crear un ambiente de confianza antes de dar retroalimentación. Comenzar destacando las fortalezas del colaborador puede reducir su resistencia inicial. Luego, al plantear los comentarios, usar un enfoque basado en hechos, evitando tonos acusatorios o subjetivos, permite que la conversación se mantenga objetiva. Asimismo, formular preguntas abiertas, como: ”¿Cómo crees que podemos mejorar en esta área juntos?”, invita a la colaboración en lugar de generar confrontación.
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Defensiveness often arises from feeling attacked or misunderstood. Therefore, when having discussions, present your feedback in a form of collaboration rather than criticism. Instead of saying, “This isn’t working,” you can say, “Let’s figure out how we can make this better.” I’ve also found that highlighting strengths first—like pointing out their attention to detail—sets a positive tone. Then, focus on specifics when addressing issues. For example, “I noticed the last report missed a few data points. How do you think we can avoid that next time?” The goal is to make feedback feel less like judgment and more like problem-solving together.
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To communicate feedback to a defensive team member, focus on being clear, specific, and empathetic. Start with a positive observation or acknowledge their efforts to ease tension. Use "I" statements to express concerns, like "I noticed X, and it might impact Y." Avoid assigning blame; instead, frame the discussion around finding solutions. Ask for their input and listen actively, showing respect for their perspective. Keep the conversation focused on the issue, not the individual, to foster collaboration and understanding.
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1. Choose the Right Environment; 2. Use a Collaborative Approach; 3. Start with Positives; 4. Be Specific and Objective; 5. Use “I” Statements; 6. Encourage Self-Reflection; 7. Focus on Solutions; 8. Follow Up; 9. Be Prepared for Resistance; By approaching the conversation with empathy, clarity, and collaboration, you can create an environment where the team member feels supported and is more open to receiving feedback.
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When addressing a defensive team member, it's crucial to integrate the practice of mindful feedback, where the leader's presence is intentional and empathetic. This goes beyond using "I" statements (“I notice...”). The key is to create a safe and purposeful space for the team member to perceive the constructive intent behind the feedback. Incorporating active listening and validating the team member’s feelings builds trust, reducing resistance and turning the conversation into a mutual growth opportunity. When this environment is intentionally cultivated, defensiveness starts to dissolve.
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Turning feedback into a co-creation process can be one of the most effective ways to mitigate defensiveness. By transforming feedback from a one-sided action into a collaborative dialogue, you open space for self-criticism and self-discovery. A great practice is using the "Socratic questioning" method, where you guide the team member to reflect on their own actions and consequences. This strengthens responsibility and autonomy, allowing the feedback to become a point of shared reflection, not an imposition of judgment.
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Defensiveness doesn’t need to be seen merely as an obstacle. In fact, it can be a natural response to stress and insecurity. To transform it into resilience, the focus should be on strengthening the team member’s emotional intelligence. Emotional regulation techniques, like mindfulness and breathing exercises, can be incorporated into feedback. Moreover, instead of reacting reactively, the approach is to be proactive, offering tools that help the team member manage their emotions during and after the conversation. This promotes resilience and, ultimately, a better response to feedback in the future.
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