My 55 Truths

So it is my birthday - number wise it sounds “oldish. “However I feel my best mentality/spiritually and definitely above par physically for my age.

In no particular order, here’s what I’ve learned or know to be true (for me).

Sleep

Getting quality sleep is a top priority. Some many health benefits if you do and some many long term deficits if you don’t

Exercise

If you don’t realize the longterm benefits by now - wake up.  This is daily for me

Gratitude

Appreciating what you have and where you are, but be eager for more.

Relationships

Make time for family, friends and colleagues.  Having longterm and healthy relationships is one of the pillars of happiness

Having Kids

Yes its true, they grow fast.  Cherish the moments, whether its changing diapers, going to school shows, losing your Saturday afternoon for their sports, the graduations, Mitzvahs, the holiday time because once they're grown up and out of the house thats it.

They have a messy room -so what, they were disappointed b/c you said NO, - its all good 

Kindess

To yourself and others,  it always wins in the end

Alone Time

Love it.  Don’t be afraid to spend quite time with-yourself to mediate, or reflect on the day

Call your mom or dad

They have less time than we do. A short call goes a long way.

Random Acts of kinds

Why not? It will lift your sprits and make others feel good.

Goal Setting

I set goals every year and it's helpful to write them out and share them with someone close.

To achieve a successful life, I set goals in the following areas.

Career, Health, Spirituality, Happiness, Relationships, Sense of Fulfillment, and having an impact on the word.

Change of Mind

It's OK to change your mind on a long held belief.

Decisions

Make easy/easily reversible decisions quickly and hard and or irreversible decisions slowly.

Quotes I Like

“Be tolerant of others and strict with yourself” - Marcus Aurelius

“Slow is smooth and smooth is fast” - Jocko Willink

“Fear is an emotion, courage is a choice” - Winston Churchill

“You have the power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you’ll find strength.”

“The world happens for us not to us” - Tony Robbins

Many more…

A mindset I try to live by (work in progress)

Amor Fati - a mindset that you take on for making at the best of out of anything that happens. Treating each and every moment, no matter how challenging as something to be embraced, not avoided. To not only be OK with it , but love it and be better for it, like oxygen to a fire, obstacles and adversity become fuel to your potential.

Saying “I get to” instead of “I have too.”  Especially on “those days.” (driving the kids, chores, etc)

Expectations

Having less expectations from others but still doing everything I can to help others.

The 3 Cs

Compliment, Congratulate and Console - I do this to those in my life when appropriate.

(hat tip to @jesseitzler)

Clients

Let them be heard and understood before they hear me. 

Cold Plunge

Love it.  Yes it might be “trendy” but don’t  judge until you do it for a few weeks. So many health benefits.

Saying good night and I love you

Each night to my kids and wife.

More Experiences les stuff

Money spent on experiences with family or friends provides a life time of memories.

Hell No, Hell Yes

When asked if I want to do something, go somewhere, attend something, if I apply a Hell Yes or Hell No, it make coming up with the decision easier.

1-10, but no 7

Rate opportunities, relationships, experiences with a 1-10 but can not use 7.  If the answer is 8 or above its a good thing to do, repeat or maintain. If a 6, question it or change it, 5 and below time to start eliminating.

One at bat

You only get one at bat with this life, make the best, do what you want without harming others.

Complaining

Complain less and appreciate more. 

Habits

Create good habits, healthy habits and stick with it , makes life easier and less to think about.

Removal

Cleaning out closest, office, garage.  Make room for the new and create more space mentality and physically.

Charity

Give what you can and start early. Selfishly it will feel good, but if you are fortunate to read this likely you are doing well enough to give back.

Fruit

Each as much as you want, especially berries.

Hydration

Yes seems obvious but probably need more than you get. Water and electrolytes are your friends.

Favorite Book

So many good ones and I try to read 10-12 /year.  Still love Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

Mentors

Find one or two for the different areas of your life.  Later become one.

Share

If you find something good, share it with those in your life

Celebrate

Holidays, birthdays with those in your life, Again maintain good relationships and build lasting memories.

Laughter

Everyday, at myself or with others. One of the best medicines.

Comparison

I used to compare myself to others, once I learned to stop this, it freed my mind and created more headspace.

Loss and Failure

It's ok to lose and fail.  But make sure to learn from it.

Control

The only things I really can control are my thoughts and actions.  Everything else is noise.

Suffer

We suffer more imagination than reality.

529 Plan

Star this once you have kids. Great for college savings, if you plan to send your kids to college. (I do).

Communicate Communicate Communicate

Going to be late - let them know, unhappy with someone - let them know (tactfully), you love them -tell them, got bad news - spill it, happy for someone - tell them

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

I used to think others did but truth is we are are learning, failing, suffering and growing. We all have something we are working and it's OK.

You Never Know

What others are going through so don’t be so quick to judge, or reply.

Why?

Find it. Why are you doing what you do?

Try something new

Find a new hobby and or interest each year.  Stay curious and learn.  Doesn’t mean you need to become a master, you might not like it and thats OK too. 

Documentaries

I love them. So many great stories and stuff to learn. Watch one if you haven’t in a long time.

Movies I love and can watch over and over

One old - Casablanca

One Classic (well 2) - Godfather 1 and 2

Anything from Quentin Tarantino

Don’t hold grudges

Learned this from my wife. We argue, we fight, we mess up or say the wrong thing but she never holds a grudge.  Moves on once we discuss the issue.  Good policy.

How was your day?

My daughter ask me this each and every day before I can even say hello to her. She was never taught this and started doing it a young age.  It is so sweet and always makes me feel good.  I have brought into my life for those around me.

Do something different just because

One goal I have with the kids is to do something once every 8-12 weeks that we normally would not do or have yet to do.  Find time to create those fun memorable experiences.

Traditions 

They work. Make a point to continue and create them with friends and family.

Diets/Food

There is no one size fits all.  Find what works for you, your body and lifestyle. I will add that developing good eating habits is better than “diets.” Does’t matter if you are vegan, carnivore, keto or follow the Mediterranean food lifestyle, just eliminate the overly processed foods, sodas and high sugar foods.  You will feel better

Responsibility

I am responsible for everything in my life.   Learned a long time ago to stop playing a victim and blaming others, or the market, or the client, or economy for my disappointments.  In the end it's up to me to me it happen.

Now

Focus efforts, thoughts, and actions on the present and future.  

Negotiable/Compromise

Everything in life is negotiable.  You must be willing to make the time to do it.  Don’t settle just because someone says this is it.  Negotiation is a skill, learn it.  (recommend Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss). It's OK and good to compromise in relationships and highly recommended.

There you have it.  These are my 55 truths on my 55th birthday.  I hope one or two resonate with you.  Would love to hear your feed back and or comments if something jumps out.