Every Viral LinkedIn Post

I was half naked, covered in mud, and unsure where I was.

Rewind: a few hours prior, I had gone for a run. My goal was to run 13 miles.

I had never run before. I am as avers to cardio as I am ambitious. I set ambitious goals across all vectors of my personal and professional life, my clients know this about me.

However, with clients I engage from a position of wisdom and topical understanding. Running I approach from a place of both avoidance and satire.

As I slipped, fell, and rolled. I could feel the sting of my skin as it scraped the wet earth I had not run 13 miles, in fact I had only traversed about 6.5 miles. My head was spinning, "but what about my labor? Who will fulfill my client projects?" I thought.

My shirt ripped, exposing my ghostly skin, witch I have protected aggressively from sun damage by going outside only when I am forced to leave for supplies since the early 00's. Just like I protect my clients from ineffective marketing plans by only ever thinking about marketing in terms of effectiveness.

The slight trickle of blood down the elbow gave the exact same sensation I felt when my client's advertising messaging was slightly off. A feeling that while things could be worse, they could also be better.

Most people, you see, are very good at noticing when effort earns them no money, but don't recognize when efforts are under preforming. Not me, I feel everything, just like I could feel that my bones were all intact. My instinctive and second-nature recognition that cannot be taught, allows me to excel in every area of my life, save cardio.

I knew I'd broken no bones; just like you know, I'm making up this story. But that will not stop us from seeing the market potential of sharing the post non-satirically.

Getting up from the mud, the muck and the blood. I started walking home, knowing I had a call with a client, and they deserved me at my best. The pounding in my head grew worse as the horse tranquilizer kicked in.

Oh, I forgot to mention, when I fell, I somehow spilled horse tranquilizer on my skin, and it was absorbing rapidly. The feeling was the uneasy numbness of knowing I had completed a project and needed to start a new venture. A feeling that wasn't unpleasant, but never the less unsettling.

To feel the way I felt, leave a comment about your favorite ad tech from the early 2010's.

Cannnn yooou fel de h or s s ss ssSeteitvess ?????

yoU probs canNt aaas U fauild to comment.

Buuuuty eye... Iiiii studently greew excited.

I FELT A RUSH, like I'd just switched from horse meds to coffee and preworkout. The way businesses would feel if they could feel when they hired me (or my associated companies) to supercharge their marketing.

I skipped home as if I were a fictional character whose only defining traits, only real, relatable traits, are talent for marketing strategy, operations, and creative ideas. Even still [start over the story is a circle].