All In

• OPPV – Other Person’s Point of View
• DIM – Doesn’t Involve Me
• Helpful or Hurtful
• Size of the Problem vs Size of the Reaction

These are just a few of the strategies our 23-year-old son, Drew, works through every single day. They sound simple, but to him they can be extremely hard to apply depending on his read or misread of a situation. His social thinking therapist works with him weekly and generally he has more “situations” than time during a visit. Running the list of various strategies is his routine. Drew lives with a genetic chromosomal deletion (22q), an intellectual disability and Autism. His executive function, emotion, and processing can be challenging and overwhelming. Note to readers, I received his permission to share this blog as he has shared his journey on public platforms. As his mom, he inspires me to be better every single day. 

From diagnosis through adulthood, Drew has been through a lot and one of the things my family gets emotional about is his undeniable desire to overcome his obstacles. We’ve always been open with Drew about his diagnosis, explaining why he has the challenges he does and that no matter what, we show up all in for him and one another. This means even on the days we are not proud of, we come back to figure it out together. Needless to say, “Yost Family Meetings” happen more than you might think! 

Managing thoughts, feelings, decisions, and emotions can be difficult for almost everyone at various times or in different situations. For Drew, his disability can make it super hard and sometimes he needs a roadmap to figure it out. Some of the simplest things can be the most difficult for him. Words, tone, and context can be misconstrued or need explanation. Change (any type of change) is EXTREMLEY hard for him. He is most comfortable and excels with routine, when someone’s feelings are clearly expressed, and when he knows what to do or how to respond. Day after day, year after year, he has worked his list of strategies. We talk about them all day every day, but to the outside world who doesn’t know him, they don’t know his brain is working on overload to manage everyday life and function. Last week alone, we had multiple situations helping him see other points of view, unravel a misread of a conversation, explain someone’s intent by something they said to be helpful, and work through a reaction (or overreaction) to a particular situation.    

When I sat down to write this guest blog, I re-read a quote I love about being all in:

This is a quote I have cut out and saved in a spot where I can read it multiple times a day. It inspires and reminds me of the impact every person in this life can have. For me, “all in” is a renewal to keep going after the things I care about, to stay true to who and what’s important to me. Things I believe in.  It reminds me that this life is precious and worth pouring my heart into what sets my soul on fire and gives me permission to let go of things that don’t. It’s stepping back and reprioritizing to stay balanced. It’s sharing something personal that can’t be explained in a short blog but hopefully inspires someone to see what’s possible in ways far greater than you can imagine. 

Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my heart with you! As always, I love learning and hearing about what’s important to you and your sharing of pieces of your hearts too!

Deb