Carole Jean Whittington’s Post

Have you experienced grief? I'd like to know more from your experiences please. Grief and burnout are interconnected especially for those of us who are late identified autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD. Grieving is part of what I call the "processing phase" after identification. Grief comes for a wide range of reasons and experiences from the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, the end of a job and more. For those of us who are neurodistinct and also have trauma and overly taxed sensory systems, grief and burnout can show up and present in a much wider and deeper way than the societal expectation and definitions of grief. As part of my upcoming series on grief and burnout during the holidays, I could use your help and would truly value your personal insights and experiences on grief, the intersection of grief and burnout and how the holidays feel for you. You are invited to share as little or as much as feels good for you. No pressure, no judgment and no requirement to feel or be a certain way, that's what's important here. You are invited to email me your responses to the questions below: (energize@WhittingtonWellBeing.com Subject: Grief) 1. What was the reason for your grief ie late identification, death of a loved one or pet, job loss, separation from family etc? 2. How did you experience grief in ways that other people didn't understand? 3. Did you also experience burnout, before, during and/or after grief? 4. How long did your grief feel really big to you? weeks, months, years? 5. What are things that helped you during grief? Thank you so much for being willing to share. With your permission I would like to share any golden nuggets of wisdom you have and will anonymize any data regarding type of grief, experiences, burnout and duration. I will only share your first name in regard to suggestions for things that have helped during grief IF you give me written permission in your reply. I believe in honoring each person's right to privacy. Again, thank you for contributing to this very important conversation especially during a time when so many of us have struggled and not been understood. Navigating the holiday season while carrying the weight of grief can feel like a daunting journey. It's like trying to find your way through a snowstorm without a map. Remember, it's okay to feel lost. Grief doesn't follow a calendar or a timeline, and it certainly doesn't pause for the holidays. Embrace the idea that grief is a form of love—love that has transformed but still exists. Allow yourself the space to feel, reflect, and connect with those memories. The deadline to respond is by this Friday, Dec. 6 at midnight central time. Please share within your networks so that those who are grieving have resources for support and a place to share their unique experiences.

TW: Mentions death, grief, loss Grief is heavy on my heart today, and I'm OK with that. I've lost a lot of people I love throughout my life. I stopped counting after 13 but the number is definitely higher now. Most of them were peers. Most of them died suddenly. Some of them died violently. Even though I have worked through all of this in therapy many times over, the grief still shows up, and all I can do is make space for it. Grief impacts how I live, work, access joy, and practice presence. I tried to compartmentalize it, hiding it away until it was "convenient" to feel. Every time I did this, I felt like I would never recover when I finally did find the time to be with it. I learned that I can't compartmentalize it, but I can integrate it. This has been a key learning for me. Grief informs how I live, work, practice presence, access joy, and love myself. It is always with me just as my body is always with me. My grief lives there, settled in my bone marrow, nestled into every chamber of my heart. It's part of me. Grieving has shown me what empathy, compassion, and presence look like. It's helped me make space for my rage. Grief has shown me how to love. It's also been a catalyst for two of the three episodes of burnout I've had, and it's been instrumental in my healing. I've learned to work with my grief by listening intently to and honoring my body's needs: resting when I need to rest, crying when I need to cry, eating when I need to eat, and stopping when I need to stop. My body has shown me that there is no room for negotiation here. My nervous system is fried, so pushing myself until I'm ready to break is just not an option for me. For a nervous system to heal, it needs time and space that I can't afford to take. In the times I've tried to push myself that far and that hard, it nearly ended me. Burnout forced me to consider the softness of my flesh and the depths of my spirit. Burnout made me acknowledge my limits, but grief showed me how. As a burnout coach, I see other people going through the same thing and needing support that's hard to find in a world of quick fixes and tight deadlines. Wherever you go, your experience is right there with you. It lives in your body. You can't get rid of it, but you can learn how to listen to it. In listening, you can pull together the threads of what it tells you and spin it into the yarn that weaves through the tapestry of your life. That's all.

Coping with loss and grief: 7 healthy ways to move forward We've all experienced loss and grief at some point in our lives. ➡️ Losing a job. ➡️ The end of a relationship. ➡️ The death of a loved one. These events can be one of life's most difficult experiences. Although grief is a natural reaction, it looks different for everyone, and, to be honest, there's no "right" way to feel after a loss. You may experience: ➡️ lack of motivation ➡️ deep sadness ➡️ loneliness ➡️ fatigue ➡️ anger It can be tempting to try to suppress these feelings with unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse. But this only prolongs the grieving process. After my father passed away, I felt completely lost in my grief. 💔 I withdrew from the world, from my family, friends, and everything that brought me joy. I woke up crying and went to bed crying. I'm sure many of you know that feeling...the feeling of having someone so important ripped away without warning. It's a pain so deep it's hard to describe. But with the help of a grief counselor, I realized avoiding life was not the answer. She helped me understand that these intense feelings were normal, but avoiding life was not the answer. So here are 7 techniques that helped me cope and gently eased my grief: 1️⃣ Be patient and compassionate with yourself: Grief comes in waves, and there's no set timeline. You'll have good days and bad days, and that's okay. 2️⃣ Talk about your loved one: Sharing memories keeps their spirit alive. It also brings comfort and connects you with others who knew them. 3️⃣ Develop a remembrance ritual: Doing something meaningful, like visiting their grave or donating to a charity in their honor, can help healing. 4️⃣ Take care of yourself physically: Grief can drain you. Ensure you eat, exercise, and rest. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle helps manage stress. 5️⃣ Allow yourself to feel the pain: Suppressing will only prolong the grief. Cry when you need to. Find healthy outlets like journaling. 6️⃣ Consider counseling: A therapist can help process complex feelings and identify unhealthy coping mechanisms. 7️⃣ Embrace your support system: Spend time with people who care about you. Don't isolate yourself. The pain of loss never fully goes away. But be gentle with yourself. In time, the intense grief will lessen, and you'll learn to honor your grief while still embracing life. P.S. What are some healthy ways you've coped with grief? I'd love to hear any tips or stories you're open to sharing in the comments. #healthandwellness #grief #copingwithgrief #contentwriter #freelancewriter

Anticipatory grief is the emotional response to the expected loss of someone you deeply care for. It’s common when a loved one is facing a terminal illness or nearing the end of their life. Unlike traditional grief, which happens after a loss, anticipatory grief involves processing the reality of losing someone before it occurs. Signs of Anticipatory Grief 1. Emotional Responses: • Sadness, anger, or fear about life without the person. • Guilt over wishing for the suffering to end or over not doing enough. • Relief (especially if they are in pain), which can lead to feelings of shame. 2. Physical Symptoms: • Fatigue, difficulty sleeping, or changes in appetite. • Tension or physical pain related to stress. 3. Cognitive/Behavioral Responses: • Difficulty concentrating or staying present. • Hyperfocus on the future or the unknown. 4. Social Withdrawal: • Pulling away from others due to emotional overwhelm. Coping Strategies for Anticipatory Grief 1. Acknowledge and Allow Your Feelings • Recognize that it’s okay to feel grief before the loss happens. • Avoid judging yourself for emotions like guilt or anger. 2. Be Present With Your Loved One • Spend quality time together in ways that bring them (and you) joy. • Engage in conversations about their wishes, memories, or feelings, if they’re open to it. 3. Build a Support System • Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings. • Consider joining a support group for caregivers or those experiencing anticipatory grief. 4. Take Care of Yourself • Prioritize self-care through rest, healthy eating, and time for activities that recharge you. • Allow yourself breaks from caregiving or emotional processing. 5. Prepare for the Future • Help with practical preparations, like legal or memorial arrangements, if appropriate. • Reflect on how to honor your loved one’s life and legacy. 6. Seek Professional Guidance • A therapist or grief counselor can help you navigate complex emotions. • Spiritual advisors or clergy may provide comfort if faith is part of your life. Unique Aspects of Anticipatory Grief • It doesn’t make the loss easier: While it allows time to process, it doesn’t eliminate the pain of the eventual loss. • You may experience multiple losses: Grieving not only their future absence but also the changes in their health, personality, or role in your life. • It’s a deeply human process: Feeling grief while someone is still here can bring a deeper appreciation for the time you have together. Anticipatory grief is a tender, vulnerable experience, but with support and self-compassion, it can also become a meaningful part of your connection with your loved one.

Beyond the Mask: Healing Grief and Anger for Emotional Empowerment 💥 🗨 Grief and anger are intricately connected emotions that often coexist in the aftermath of a significant loss. Understanding their interaction is crucial for fostering emotional healing and wellbeing. The Role of Anger in Grief Anger can manifest in response to grief for several reasons. It may arise from feelings of helplessness, injustice, or abandonment associated with the loss. Psychologically, anger serves as a protective mechanism, offering a temporary buffer against the overwhelming sadness and despair of grief. This protective function can prevent immediate emotional collapse, giving the individual time to gradually confront the full impact of their loss. Anger as a Mask for Vulnerability When grief is too painful to face directly, anger becomes a mask, covering deeper emotions of sadness, fear, and loneliness. This displacement allows individuals to channel their pain into a more outwardly directed emotion, which might feel more manageable or socially acceptable. However, this can delay the grieving process, as the underlying sorrow remains unaddressed. The Psychological Impact of Unresolved Grief Unresolved grief, masked by persistent anger, can lead to long-term psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and even physical health problems. Chronic anger can strain relationships, reduce emotional resilience, and impede the ability to find meaning and acceptance in the loss. To break this cycle, it’s essential to acknowledge and process both the anger and the grief. Strategies to Process Grief: 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel and express both your anger and grief. Journaling or talking with a trusted friend can help you explore and understand these emotions. 2. Create a Ritual of Remembrance: Establishing personal rituals, like lighting a candle or creating a memory book, can honor your loss and provide a constructive way to express your grief. 3. Seek Professional Support: Engaging in therapy with a professional who specializes in grief and trauma can provide a safe space to navigate these complex emotions and develop coping strategies. Welcome to the Emotional Empowerment movement, dedicated to helping individuals navigate their emotional landscapes and achieve greater wellbeing. For more resources and support, follow us on social media at: @Brisamorandwellness.

In the quiet moments of early morning, I find myself reflecting on the profound journey of grief and loss. Just a few hours ago, I was informed of the passing of my older brother. As the youngest of three and often the more emotional one, the waves of sadness, frustration, and a myriad of other emotions have been relentless. Yet, amidst this storm, I've found solace in the practices and principles that have guided me both personally and professionally: the Mental Health Toolbox and Positive Intelligence coaching. The Mental Health Toolbox is a concept I often discuss with clients, emphasizing the importance of having personal anchors—favorite movies, impactful quotes, music that touches the soul, and the invaluable support of friends and family. These tools have been my companions in the darkest of times, providing comfort and a sense of normalcy in the chaos of loss. Positive Intelligence coaching, a cornerstone of my career in mental health and public speaking, has been instrumental in navigating my current emotions. Through PQ reps and the teachings of Positive Intelligence, I've been able to cope and lessen the blow of my brother's passing. It's a testament to the power of mental fitness in transforming our response to life's inevitable challenges. Why am I sharing this deeply personal experience? Because in the face of loss, we are reminded of the fragility of life and the importance of connection. I've cried, called trusted family and friends, watched my brother's favorite movie, taken long walks with my dog, cooked for Passover, and leaned into my Positive Intelligence practices. These actions have been my lifeline, helping me to navigate through grief with a semblance of grace. I urge you, if you haven't reached out to a loved one recently, do so now. Whether it's a call, text, Zoom meeting, or in-person visit, make the effort. If you're struggling with a difficult relationship, try approaching it with empathy and civility. The weight of unresolved grief is a burden no one should bear alone. As I take some time to navigate family matters and my own healing process, I want to leave you with a reminder of the power of connection and the importance of preparing for life's most challenging moments. If you're in need of guidance on how to prepare for the loss of a loved one, please reach out. My experiences, though painful, have equipped me with resources and insights that I'm willing to share. Take a moment tonight to talk to someone you care about. Reach out to someone you've lost touch with. In the face of grief, let us lean on each other for support, understanding, and love. I may not post as frequently, but know that my commitment to helping others through their own journeys of grief and growth remains unwavering. Together, with our Mental Health Toolboxes and the principles of Positive Intelligence, we can face life's most challenging moments with resilience and hope.

Coping with Complicated Grief Complicated grief can feel like wandering through an unending fog—disorienting, isolating, and intense. It's a path marked by twists and turns, with emotions and memories that grip tightly. However, there are strategies to navigate this challenging journey: Remind Yourself That What You’re Feeling is Okay: Complicated grief brings a spectrum of emotions, some expected, others bewildering. It’s vital to remind yourself that there is no "right" way to grieve. Your feelings, no matter how turbulent or contradictory, are valid. Allow yourself to feel without judgment. Identify Supports: Lean on family, friends, support groups, or faith communities. These networks can offer a listening ear, a comforting presence, or a hand to hold. Identifying people who can provide support helps remind you that you’re not alone on this journey. Explore New Ways to Cope: Traditional methods of coping may not suffice. Be open to exploring new strategies like creative arts, meditation, physical activity, or journaling. These can provide a new outlet for your emotions and a different way to process your grief. Set Limits and Boundaries: It’s okay to say no to activities or obligations that feel overwhelming. Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of self-care, allowing you to conserve your energy and focus on healing. Recognize Wishful Thinking or Other Unhelpful Thought Patterns: Complicated grief can lead to patterns of thinking that are unhelpful or unrealistic. Recognizing these can be the first step in changing them. When you catch yourself stuck in wishful thinking or spiraling into "what ifs," gently guide your thoughts back to the present. Consult with a Professional: If the weight of grief feels too heavy, consider consulting with a mental health professional experienced in complex grief, PTSD and trauma. They can provide guidance, support, and strategies tailored to your specific needs. Coping with complicated grief is akin to navigating a labyrinth — there are twists, turns, and dead ends, but also passages that lead forward. It requires patience, self-compassion, and the willingness to seek and accept help. Remember, moving through grief is not about finding an exit but about discovering a pathway that leads to a place of peace and acceptance, even amidst the pain. Join us for a FREE workshop - 5-Steps to Heal Grief: https://lnkd.in/guwPy4ZE #CopingWithGrief #ComplicatedGrief #HealingJourney #SelfCare #GriefSupport

The Grief and Loss a Widower May Experience – Why Seeking Professional Support is Essential When a partner passes, a widower may experience a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, and even relief. The person who once shared in your day-to-day life, your joys, your struggles, and your future plans, is suddenly no longer there. The mourning process can be complicated, especially when the loss is sudden or unexpected. The grieving process for men can often look different from that of women. While women may express their emotions more openly, men are sometimes socialized to be more reserved, which can make it harder to process and express grief. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, even in the presence of others. Common Emotions a Widower May Face: Shock and Disbelief – It's hard to accept that someone you loved deeply is gone. There may be moments of denial or feeling numb. Anger and Resentment – Anger can be directed at the situation, at yourself for not doing more, or even at your late spouse for leaving you. Guilt and Regret – You might find yourself replaying the past, wondering if there was something you could have done differently. Loneliness and Isolation – Even surrounded by family or friends, the emotional gap left by the death of a spouse can feel all-encompassing. Fear and Uncertainty – The future may suddenly feel uncertain. You may wonder how to navigate life without your partner and worry about changes in your daily routine, finances, or identity. The Importance of Seeking Professional Support Grief can be a long and challenging journey, and it's important to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Professional support, whether from a therapist, counselor, or grief support group, can provide essential tools to help you cope with the loss in a healthy way. Talking to someone who is trained to listen can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to express your feelings. It's important to process your grief rather than bottling it up. Grief can affect your mental and physical health. A professional can help you develop coping strategies for managing stress, anxiety, and depression that may arise during this time. Grief is not linear. It ebbs and flows. A counsellor can help you understand and normalize your emotions, reassuring you that it's okay to grieve at your own pace. Rebuilding Your Life – A professional can help guide you through the difficult task of rebuilding your life, helping you find new meaning, purpose, and ways to navigate your world without your spouse. Reducing Isolation – Grief can be isolating. Connecting with a therapist or a support group can reduce feelings of loneliness and provide you with a sense of belonging and understanding during a challenging time. You don't have to carry the weight of grief alone. Reach out for support and take the time to care for yourself—emotionally, mentally, and physically—as you navigate life after loss.

Addressing Mental Health: Navigating the Many Forms of Grief In our fast-paced, ever-connected world, we are rarely given the time or space to truly process grief. As someone deeply invested in transformation and wellness, I often meet individuals facing the heavy burden of grief—whether from personal loss, changes in relationships, career setbacks, or unanticipated life changes. Grief takes on many faces, and each of us can experience it uniquely. When we think of grief, we typically envision it in response to death. Yet grief can also arise from the loss of identity, the end of a cherished relationship, the transition away from a long-held job, or even a sudden shift in our life’s path. Each experience, though different, holds the potential to affect our mental well-being profoundly. Grieving, in all its forms, can create a mental and emotional load that, without the right support, becomes overwhelming. Understanding the Many Forms of Grief Personal Loss Grief: This is the grief most of us are familiar with, tied to the passing of a loved one. It can manifest as sadness, anger, numbness, or a sense of profound emptiness. The journey through this type of grief is different for everyone, but support and understanding play a crucial role in recovery. Identity Loss Grief: For many, losing a job, a role, or a sense of purpose can lead to a loss of self. This type of grief often goes unrecognized but can have deep psychological impacts as people attempt to rediscover who they are without the identity they once held dear. Relationship Grief: Breakups, divorces, and estrangements leave emotional scars that can be just as painful as those caused by physical loss. Navigating the end of a relationship, especially one central to your life, requires resilience and compassion—for yourself and the situation. Life Transition Grief: Milestones like retirement, children moving out, or relocating for a new chapter in life can bring unexpected grief. These changes can evoke a sense of mourning for what was, even if you’re excited about what’s to come. In every form, grief affects our mental health, sometimes subtly and sometimes profoundly. Embracing these experiences is the first step toward transformation. But how do we support our mental health and move forward? Seeking Support in Our Grief Journey In the face of grief, we need spaces to connect, express, and begin healing. Community and compassion are vital to this journey, reminding us that we do not have to face grief alone. From counseling to group support, having a network to lean on can make a world of difference. On December 14th, I’m hosting the Mental Health Benefit Gala, a unique opportunity for individuals to connect, learn, and contribute to the wellness community. This event isn’t just about mental health awareness—it’s about fostering healing, building support, and bringing people together who seek to uplift one another.

When someone you care about is grieving, do you feel the urge to make things better but aren't sure how to help? What if the best way to support a grieving person isn't about finding solutions, but simply being present and holding space for their emotions? Grief is an intrinsic part of human experience, not a problem to solve but a process to navigate. When confronted with the loss of a loved one, societal pressures often push us toward "fixing" ourselves or others—moving on quickly or suppressing pain. However, research and lived experiences reveal that this approach can undermine the essential work of grieving. Key Insights on Grief and Why It Resists Fixing 1. Grief is Non-Linear and Personal
Each person’s grieving journey is unique. Attempts to apply one-size-fits-all solutions often fail, as grief fluctuates between sadness, numbness, anger, and healing. About 83% of grieving individuals experience sadness, and 42% report symptoms of depression. Sleep disturbances (31%) and anxiety (19%) are also common, showing the multifaceted nature of grief that cannot be “fixed” in a traditional sense. 2. Physical and Mental Health Impact
Grief affects more than emotions; it can lead to physical symptoms like fatigue (39%), appetite changes (32%), and headaches (25%). These responses underline the holistic toll of loss, which requires care rather than correction. 3. Complicated Grief and Prolonged Struggles
About 10% of people experience complicated grief, characterized by persistent yearning, guilt, or avoidance that can last for years. Specialized therapies focusing on acceptance and meaning-making improve symptoms in up to 70% of cases, emphasizing that healing is gradual and individualized. 4. The Healing Power of Connection
Spending time with loved ones is the most effective coping strategy, with nearly 50% of people finding solace in this. Engaging in rituals, creative activities, or simply sharing memories fosters connection and offers gentle pathways through grief. Shifting from Fixing to Supporting Rather than trying to "fix" grief, here are ways to honor and support the process: * Be Present: Offer a listening ear without judgment or unsolicited advice. Your presence can be more valuable than words. * Acknowledge Their Reality: Allow individuals to express their pain. Validating their feelings fosters trust and healing. * Encourage Self-Care: Gentle reminders to eat, sleep, and engage in activities they find comforting can help someone maintain their health amidst grief. * Seek Professional Help When Needed: Complicated grief or persistent emotional struggles may benefit from therapy or support groups. Grief, as researchers note, is “a form of love that finds a new place in life after loss.” It cannot be resolved by problem-solving but can be tended to with empathy, understanding, and patience. By shifting from fixing to supporting, we create space for healing to unfold naturally. (A lot like good leadership)