Aarón Benítez’s Post

Do you dread Mother's Day because your mom was abusive? Mother's Day can be really hard for those of us who were raised by abusive mothers. We're surrounded by ads, merchandise, and social media photos that depict a stereotypical image that never existed for us. This may bring up all kinds of feelings such as sadness, grief, or anger. As a result, you may have come to dread Mother's Day, like me. If this is true for you, I wrote a blog post that may help. You're not alone! Please click the link below.

Was he a monster? What he did was monstrous, evil, but he wasn’t some distant figure in the dark. He walked among his friends, family, community presenting himself as average. We often think monsters are far away, but they’re not. They’re closer than we admit. That uncle, family friend, or father-in-law who makes crude jokes at the table. The one who brushes too close, squeezes your shoulder. The one who makes inappropriate comments about your outfit. The one you instinctively avoid being alone with, especially when they’ve been drinking. Are they monsters? We can not just let their behavior slide, shrugging it off as “just how they are”? This festive period, if you’re around people that you don’t see as often who behave like this, don’t ignore it. Don’t let it slip into another generation. If we have the courage to say something, to set boundaries, to call it out not with a laugh but with a firm “No!” Then maybe, just maybe, we stop letting this behavior fester in our families and our communities. These behaviors are warnings. And while the world might label them as “monsters” only when their actions escalate, let’s not wait for the worst to happen. Stop excusing it. Stop looking away.

Just a dad out in the woods with his crew, embracing the silliness of life with pumpkins on our heads. Halloween’s about more than costumes and candy; it’s become a reminder of how powerful play can be. This past year has been intense, with life changes I never saw coming. Divorce has a way of reshaping everything, and one of the biggest shifts for me has been in how I show up for myself and my kids. I’ve learned that play—simple, goofy, ridiculous play—isn't just a break from reality; it’s the brain’s way of shaking off the weight of trauma. It’s a reset, a doorway back to joy and laughter, even when life feels heavy. When we’re out there, pumpkins on our heads, laughing at the absurdity of it all, it’s more than a Halloween tradition. It’s therapy. The freedom to laugh, to let go, to connect without the weight of the world—it reminds me that healing doesn’t always have to be serious. Sometimes, healing looks like a silly photo shoot in the woods, where we all get to remember who we are underneath the daily grind. If you’re going through it, maybe a little play is exactly what you need too. Because play isn’t just for kids; it’s for anyone needing a little light in the dark. #MentalHealthMatters #HealingThroughPlay #SingleDadLife #HalloweenFun #TherapeuticPlay #DivorceRecovery #MensMentalHealth #ParentingJourney #MindfulFatherhood #PlayHeals

Watching a video where a husband avoided conflict by walking away from a potentially volatile situation involving a belligerent individual, possibly intoxicated, who had harmed his wife, made me ponder. I shared the video with my wife and asked for her opinion on whether it would be appropriate to handle a situation similarly to how the husband did. My wife responded affirmatively, indicating that she believed it was acceptable. Many men make rash decisions driven by emotions, often without considering the long-term consequences of their actions. A true measure of manhood is not engaging in needless confrontation. Making thoughtful, strategic decisions and considering the bigger picture is always beneficial. Ultimately, it's simply not worth it. In reality, I was already leaning towards the same decision, but I wanted to gauge my wife's thoughts and feelings on the matter. My instinct would have been to remove my wife from such a situation entirely, thus preventing any harm to either of us, especially considering we are nearing our retirement years. As we age, our priorities shift, and our focus should be on our well-being and safety. It's essential to evaluate the situation and make the right decision, even if it means walking away. Remember, it's not worth the risk or trouble.

This afternoon, as I sat watching everyone entering the chapel. I saw a young mother carrying her small baby walk past, one of the booties fell from the child's foot unbeknownst to the mother. Me, being the people watcher I am and I love to study behaviors, decided to hold back and watch how each person would react or even notice. Immediately a few people saw the article and passed it by, one even adjusted their gate to avoid stepping on it. One woman pointed it out and loudly exclaimed, "Someone lost their shoe," but made no effort to pick it up and past over it. Many didn't notice even after stepping on it. Finally, the father of the child recognized the booty and stooped down and collected it as he entered to join his family for the services. As I pondered what I witnessed, my thoughts were turned to who are we in life's experiences. I understand that we are not the same in every situation but we have a choice to how we will respond and what role we choose to play. Will we be the person that holds back and watches? Perhaps the many that were unaware of their surroundings and the events unfolding or those who noticed but didn't care or even causing more harm? What about those who point out fault or the problem but quickly avoid the solution and fail to help, expecting others to fix or deal with it. Maybe even the young mother or the child that kicked the shoe off? When we decide how we will act before the situation, we are more likely to respond in the way we desire. #AddToYourTools

Recently, I introduced an audience to my daughter and her Halloween costume. Yes, that's my 8-year-old ready to go trick-or-treating tonight as ... ... a cockroach with green sunglasses. Naturally, a lot of adults have asked her "why." After all, it's not necessarily what most would think an 8-year-old would choose over a witch or a superhero or a princess or a wizard or a clown. But my daughter? She has never wavered. Instead, she's responded with a tone that simply says: "Well, why not?" In our professional world, we have so many outside influences that tell us we are expected to show up in a certain way. To follow a certain path. To conform to the norm. To buy in to what's advertised to us. No wonder it's hard for so many of us to stand firm in our own authenticity. But we also know that living inauthentically over the long run impacts (among other things) our self-esteem, our mental health, our ability to form meaningful relationships and the way we show up at work. There's no magic button that gets us there. It takes a lot of work and introspection. A lot of trial and error and failing and succeeding. But it's worth the work to find our way to standing firm as our WHOLE selves. So let's start leaning in to a mission to create spaces so safe for people to show up authentically... that when they're asked "why" ... They throw on their green sunglasses and say: “Why not?"

I believe that beauty is love in the face of anger. I believe that beauty is recognizing the bigger picture and understanding how when we relate to the people we love kindly - even when we’re mad, we create trust, security, and trauma resilience. It is in these small private spaces, the ones that seem tiny on the global stage, that we can change the world. Read the full blog here - https://lnkd.in/gfqxkYf6 #partnership #parenting #newstory #bethechange Friends of Charles Eisenstein - thanks for the inspiration for this short essay.

There are lots of reasons to walk around naked with your spouse. Of course, you can’t walk around naked all day, every day. There are places to go and people to see. But when you are alone at home, be intentional about getting (and staying) naked for your spouse. Let’s be honest: one of the first things that attracted you to your spouse what their physical presence. So there is no need to constantly cover up your body when you are within the privacy of your home. Walking around naked is a gift that both you and your spouse get to enjoy. Plus, it can help you strengthen your emotional, physical, and sexual intimacies. Discover 3 reasons to walk around naked at https://lnkd.in/gxR7mqiF

Have you ever dealt with a mommy friend who's been acting toxic or hurtful? 🤔 You’re not alone, mom! Learn how to handle difficult situations like these and protect your peace of mind. 💖 https://lnkd.in/gKZXA2Yp #MomLife #SupportEachOther #MomTribe #SelfCareForMoms #MentalHealthMatters #ParentingJourney #StrongMoms #HealthyFriendships #MomAdvice

“I will have to see my ex over Christmas day and I'm dreading it...” Are you dreading seeing your ex over Christmas, perhaps dropping the children to them, or maybe your plans include sharing some time with you both present? Here are 7 quick tips to help you cope: • Wear clothes that you KNOW make you feel good - dress for how you want to feel. • Your brain doesn’t know the difference between what you imagine and what you remember, so imagine yourself in the situation you are worried about, behaving exactly as you would like. Watch the scene like a movie in your mind from before you meet, until after it's over and you have acted as brilliantly as you can possibly imagine. • Practice what you want to say, standing in front of a mirror. Rehearse your lines, as though you were preparing for a play. • Practice what you want to say, standing in front of a mirror. Rehearse your lines, as though you were preparing for a play.ble that will keep any barbed comments from getting to you • Imagine your ex wearing big clown shoes, or Mickey Mouse ears, or hear their voice very high pitched - change the power they have over you by adding imaginary humour. • Remind yourself of just one good quality about them before you meet. • Focus on being polite, civil and dignified - not for them, but for you, and your children. Any other top tips, please do share in the comments - I would love to hear them! For more tips, read my blog here - https://lnkd.in/ei5-_Umq #separationchristmas #divorcechristmas #divorcecoach #christmasafterdivorce #christmasafterbreakup #choiceatchristmas