From the course: Activate Connections That Will Transform Your Career

Building trust without an agenda

From the course: Activate Connections That Will Transform Your Career

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Building trust without an agenda

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- Think about somebody who has been there for you in your life. How did you connect with them? Well I guarantee you that if you're going to have a champion spirit when it comes to true connection, you know that it is not about somebody knowing you for five, 10, 15 years. You know that it's not about placating anybody. You know it's not about pretending or kissing up to anyone. This is authentic connection, and the way you build that, two major ways that you build that, one is building trust almost instantaneously. The way that you do that is through showing somebody that you have their back early on. Even if you meet somebody initially at a job interview or on the street and they hold open your door, there's something about that moment that facilitates the ability to trust somebody, even just with something so simple as opening a door. I'm going to give you a story because so many people meet, and like I do, we interview people and we have seconds to make a first impression. But sending somebody a signal that I have your back through researching, through having some knowledge of what that person is about, and through giving a kind compliment. Now I don't want you to just, again, placate somebody. I want you to initiate a conversation of trust to letting that person know that you not only know a little bit about them, but you appreciate that something about them. I had a co-worker who helped me out on a project that I had. I needed to get gifts for 100 women. That kind of was a big deal and it was a little last minute in terms of the request. I had interacted with this woman here and there, but we hadn't even shared our cell phone numbers. But when I reached out to her and I said, "Listen, is there any way "that you can give me some gifts to donate to these women "as a sign of here I just want to give these to you, "I'm just being philanthropic with you, "altruistic with you", she immediately said, "How much do you need, "and what can I do for you, and when do you need it?" She was quickly able to get in with me and partner with me for this endeavor that I was in. Here's the second part of true connection that relates to this exact story. There was no agenda. She didn't want any type of shout out, I didn't have to post a tag with her name on it. I just had to receive what she was willing to give me. Because she decided A, that I was a worthy investment. And B, that my endeavor, my motivation was pure. There was something about us connecting over that cause. So if you're going to have true connection in your life, the one way to do that is to show that you trust. That you're trustworthy, that you're invested, and you're interested in that person. And the second way is to have no agenda. When you have zero agenda, and you're not looking for credit, you're just doing it because really, you want to. That's a sign that you are truly a connector.

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