What role do family traditions play in resolving household disputes?

Almost all ancient texts state that order is created from chaos. Two things are important here. Chaos is important for there to be order, order is assumed to be 'good'. Chaos is change. Sir Winston Churchill once said, "To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often". Understanding the need for both, tradition in a family provides order to thrive and improve. It is important to note that tradition based on values allows tradition to be built upon not broken. A tradition/s has power in its existence and as a tool as reminder to bring order. 41 years as a firefighter in the family of the fire service reminds me that all organisations can use the concept of the family and its tradition/s to help maintain order, peace and harmony.

Good communication relies on 5 key elements. Clarity, time, timing, mechanism and process. Be clear, be brief. Use the quickest most effective way to communicate, face 2 face or electronic. Timing can be critical, bad news travels fast, be faster, good news should be shared, quickly. Walking, horse, train, telegraph, telephone, talking F2F including micro-emotions, which is best to deliver the message. Communication must be a feedback process, Demosthenes may have improved his ability to speak clearly by practicing with pebbles in his mouth but not until he knew his listeners understood him did he know he had communicated, do you know what I mean? At the beginning of each shift polish the brass together, together to communicate.

Values of the International Emergency Services Speakers Bureau ( iessb.com.au ). *Integrity - state of being whole, undivided. Accountable for what U think, say, do. In harmony internally and externally. *Courage- to speak truth from the heart, bravery to take action, you are not alone. *Justice - do the right thing by others and yourself. Respect underpins justice which is an outcome not a thought. *Respect -Unconditional positive regard for all. The foundation for equality and basis for integrity. Requires courage and application of justice. Respect underpinned by curiosity. * Curiosity - Recognising life is saturated by the questions of Who, why, How, When, Where and What, and by the awesome wonder of both the questions and the answers.

In times of distress, having the support of family can greatly assist in the process of navigating complex emotions. Family members can provide a listening ear, offer guidance, and create a safe space for open dialogue. Their presence can serve as a stabilizing force, helping individuals to better understand and manage their emotions. Additionally, family support can also play a crucial role in accessing professional help, such as therapy or counseling, if needed. By working together as a team, families can contribute to the emotional well-being of their loved ones, fostering resilience and promoting overall mental health.

The fire service as an organisation (in Queensland approx 40,000 people) and as a family oriented organisation continuously does and needs to do emotional healing. Why, because when people interact in any family situation, pain is a part of that family life. Unresolved pain not only affects the individual but potentially all of the family (even after retirement). Good traditions that treat the pain are therefore invaluable, just as Mickey Coffino says. A pebble of pain dropped into the pond of life has the potential to disturb the waters in all directions over long periods affecting many people.

Build a tradition connected to, in line with the family values. If prevention is better than the cure and the cure involves potential pain and the pain may have long lasting affects, affect the future by being preventative. To the greatest extent possible discuss points of potential conflict across each of the values and resolve beforehand during part of the family tradition of round table discussions. In professional speaking terms this is sometime called 'Pacing Out the Objections' before presenting to an audience, POO for you too. : )