A team member bristles at colleague feedback. How do you manage their defensiveness?
When a team member bristles at colleague feedback, it's essential to address their defensiveness while fostering a positive environment. Consider these strategies to help manage the situation:
How do you handle defensiveness in your team? Share your thoughts.
A team member bristles at colleague feedback. How do you manage their defensiveness?
When a team member bristles at colleague feedback, it's essential to address their defensiveness while fostering a positive environment. Consider these strategies to help manage the situation:
How do you handle defensiveness in your team? Share your thoughts.
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Is the response to feedback a result of defensiveness, or is it because the receiver doesn't find the feedback useful? If the content and method of delivery don't resonate with the receiver, feedback may be perceived as criticism instead of constructive advice. To improve the feedback process, it's important to design feedback content carefully and to ensure the process is engaging, constructive, and genuinely helpful to the receiver.
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One thing I have found helpful is using anonymous feedback experiments During a team-wide project, I noticed a pattern: one person would shut down the moment feedback came from certain colleagues. To address this, we ran a “feedback via anonymous notes” activity for a month. By removing identities, the individual was able to focus on the content rather than the source of feedback. Surprisingly, they acknowledged and acted on suggestions more openly. This exercise showed me the value of experimenting with non-traditional feedback methods to overcome interpersonal biases.
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1. Self-awareness.- Recognize when you're becoming defensive and take a step back to reassess the situation. 2. Positive self-talk -Encourage yourself to remain calm and focused on finding solutions. 3. Reframe criticism as feedback.- View criticism as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than as a personal attack. 4. Develop a growth mindset.-Embrace challenges and setbacks as chances to develop new skills and perspectives.
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It is important to understand the intent behind feedback. Is it constructive criticism, a show of superiority, or genuinely aimed at helping overcome limitations? Additionally, it is crucial to consider how the feedback is delivered. There’s no denying that well-constructed feedback can enhance leadership values and improve efficiency. In such situations, I manage by acknowledging the other person's feelings and showing empathy. Listening is the most effective tool for managing defensiveness, as it allows individuals to express their points of view before intervening to find a resolution.
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When I coach someone on receiving feedback, I tell them the following. No one likes to hear negative things about them or their performance. And I can totally understand why, initially, it might seem like it is an attack you. But I’ve learned in life, you can always get angry later. But if you get angry now, it’s hard to walk it back. Therefore, step back and think through the feedback. At the end of the day, we can always improve our performance. There is a world of difference between I don’t like the way you did something and I don’t like you. The later is an attack, but the former may have truth to it. Don’t personalize things that aren’t personal. Listen to what was said. When you listen to the message, is it fair?
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Feedback is breakfast for champions!! However giving & receiving feedback both have its pros & cons. In the event any team member disagree with feedback process , we must get in meaningful conversation, be empathetic, try to deepen our understanding why he/she not accepting feedback. May this conversation continue for long but at end we get to understand reason for disagreement & work together to address then for mutual benefits!!
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This requires empathy, tact, and a focus on fostering a positive team culture. A few quick and easy steps one can look into are: Address the behavior in private Acknowledge their feelings Clarify the intent of the feedback Encourage active listening i.e. they focus on listening instead of responding immediately Practice what we preach Foster self-reflection Reinforce moments when the team member accepts feedback well, even in small ways, to encourage progress Offer support and development such as coaching or mentoring Follow Up; something which most of us forget to do i.e. close the loop. It’s important to revisit the topic after some time to discuss any progress or continued challenges, ensuring they feel supported
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When we are striving towards improvisation,upgradation, feedback is one of the important mechanism that drive us for the next step. Positive feedback considered to be inspiring but acceptability of negative feedback much dependable on the narrator's articulation, choice of words, depths of understanding and empathy towards the team members.
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Providing feedback is a delicate matter. And even it is meant as constructive, it’s hard to know how the receiving person will react. One approach is to start by asking the individual if they are open to constructive feedback, ensuring them it is meant to be helpful. Then keep the feedback very fact based and focus on a helpful message. Remember, make this a two way conversation. It’s as important and for you to listen and observe their response as it is for them to do the same.
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When a team member becomes defensive about feedback, approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Begin by ensuring the feedback is constructive, specific, and delivered in private to avoid embarrassment. Acknowledge their perspective and let them share their thoughts openly. Reframe the feedback as an opportunity for growth, focusing on how it aligns with their professional goals. Highlight their strengths to balance the conversation and show that the feedback isn’t personal but aimed at improvement. Encourage a collaborative discussion to find solutions, fostering a sense of ownership. Patience and consistent support can help ease their defensiveness over time.
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