How can you use mirroring and matching techniques to establish a connection with someone?

The idea is that people feel most comfortable around those who are like them – they feel that their point of view is understood. The more someone believes you are like them, the easier it is to develop trust and rapport at the unconscious level.

In my experience this is about meeting people where they are — matching their energy level and making them feel comfortable. That’s when people will open up and share.

Mirroring doesn't always mean you have to imitate another person or match their exact emotion. It can also be done through validation. I might not agree with someone over a situation they feel is frustrating, for example, but a simple "gosh, that sounds super frustrating for you" can often help to connect by allowing the other person to feel heard and understood.

Subtly mirror the other person's body language, pace of speech, or energy level. This fosters a sense of connection by signaling similarity. As the relationship progresses, gradually introduce aspects of your own style to build rapport through a natural, reciprocal process.

A good point, mirroring and matching can help with your own emotional regulation, however important not to do this in a tense situation as it may escalate conflict.

Attentively observe both the words spoken and the actions taken by the other person. Mentally note the key words said and incorporate them into your conversation. This reinforces two essential aspects: 1. Your attentive listening and 2. Your comprehension of the person's desires and needs, enabling you to offer the most fitting solutions or insights. Regarding behavior, swiftly gauge their conversational and behavioral style in the first moments of interaction—whether more formal or informal, for example—and mirror their mannerisms. This establishes a sense of familiarity, positioning you closer within their circle, fostering an environment conducive to open discussions about any pertinent topics.

In my experience the optimal approach is to remain kind, gentle, and wear a smile throughout the discussion. Introducing a touch of humor into the conversation can also yield positive results.

I love this topic because if you don't know your audience and aren't aware mirroring can hurt you! If the recipient is highly aware and thinks, “wait a minute, I’m being mirrored”, you can come across as disingenuine or manipulative, so something to consider when mirroring and matching is to stay true to your authentic self because the backfire is a breakdown in trust. Instead of focussing on mirroring to aid in connection, actively listen to find common ground. Staying true to yourself will enhance credibility and build deeper relationships over time.

Before walking through the door, consider your audience and the situation. If you have time, role-play the scene in your mind. Thank about the situation behind the door. Are people excited, nervous, or angry? If they are angry, make sure to leave your volatile anger in the car. If you are walking into an exciting board meeting, no pun intended, be ready to match the energy in the room.In closing, bring energy and excitement to the Laker's game and calm and quiet atmosphere to the library. These ideas serve as a reminder to be ready and prepared.

In my experience, I consider that Mirroring and matching are fundamental to establishing an ideal communication channel between people, both on a personal and professional level. It is approaching people in commonalities and working on differences. You won't always match 100% with people, but you know? As long as you reflect empathy, genuine interest in your counterpart, and above all, you have a receptive, open, and positive attitude, you will have the attention of the people you want to interact with. It's not just words, it's also non-body language. If you want to fly like eagles you have to be like them.