How can you share your story as a peer supporter without oversharing?

While it can be tricky to find a happy medium, I always keep a few things in mind when sharing my story with others. - Know your why? What is the purpose of you sharing and how can others learn from or be inspired by it? - There is power in the pause. Know when to pause and evaluate when too much is too much. Be mindful of the details you share, keeping it focused on what is most relevant and what would have the biggest impact. - While your story may have had its challenges, it may be helpful to come from a place of positivity and hope, highlighting what lessons you’ve learned and how they have shaped who you are today. - Most of all…be authentic to you, your story, who you are in all things. It’s your story. Your journey.

In the past, I’d often jump to share a similar story/experience to be relatable. People rarely want to hear this, I’ve found. It feels like it makes it about you. They want you to stay in their problem with them and listen and ask good questions. Even asking: do you want to vent, get advice, or etc helps a lot. Having good questions helps you not overshare. I’ve also found unless you’re giving detailed personal or medical details, people rarely think you’re over sharing. Making it about you, maybe, but not giving them unwelcome info.

I always start with being person centered. We as the professionals are not the focal point. It is always about understanding how the self disclosure will benefit the person you are working with. Our stories are important because they got us to the point of supporting others. When supporting others the focus is on their story. I always work to provide the narrative of “this is something that worked for me however do you feel it could work for you?” The use of open ended questions always leads to a better understanding of the person we are serving. Listen to understand not just hear.

In work, especially remotely, COLLABORATION is truly one of a key to a better and good teamwork. This will lead us to clear understanding which will eventually lead to success.

It can be a delicate balance! As a peer supporter, focus on listening actively and validating the other person's feelings, whilst keeping the conversation focussed on the other person. You can share your brief but relevant experiences when they can directly help. I’d also suggest using "I" statements to express empathy without making it about you. You can ask open-ended questions to guide them in exploring their thoughts and even their own solutions, and offer resources rather than direct advice. Always be mindful of their reactions and change your approach to ensure you're supporting them without oversharing or shifting the focus away from their needs.

Peer support should always prioritize the receiver's needs. When considering sharing my story, I first assess its purpose. Is it meant to inspire, provide guidance, or simply empathize? The focus should be on benefiting my peer, offering them insights or comfort, rather than oversharing for personal catharsis. Additionally, relevance to the situation and topic is crucial. My narrative should align with their concerns, making it relatable and meaningful. Ultimately, peer support should be a selfless act, driven by a clear intention to aid others in their journey, making it receiver-centric and genuinely beneficial.

I’ve found that there’s a fine line between sharing your experience and bragging/lifting yourself up. Peer support should always be about support of the other and what would be useful for their respective problem statement. This requires understanding their needs thoroughly before proving your thoughts/ideas.

Give them space to speak about their problem. Allow them to voice their opinions, and their concerns without making it about you. Remember you are there to offer them your support, your guidance and to give your take on a situation only if they ask for it. You may share a situation with them, only if they ask you if this had happened to you. Don't go sharing at the start..it is not about you. Remember you are there to build trust. Allow them to come to you with their problem and give them the tools to solve it. Even if you want to jump in and save the day; no, allow them to be their own heroes and in return will thank you for believing in them to solve the problem.

The balance between the depth and the breadth! - Test the water by sharing the highlight of your story - Find the connections between your why and your audience

I was 24 when a senior colleague, at a job I had joined a week ago, brought me a cup of coffee to my table and said "If you need anything, please ask for support. We are here to help you." In that one moment of truth, I was flooded with positivity, inspiration and courage. I felt supported by a team I barely knew and the gesture taught me what it meant to show genuine camaraderie. It takes effort to invest in others when we work in an environment buzzing with bodies who are busy and occupied. With the right intent and alignment to a shared purpose, all team work comes naturally.

This is so important and understanding that vulnerability without responsibility can be damaging or attention seeking . The responsibility allows you to craft the story to suit the purpose and intentions whilst remaining truthful.

You can’t bring your whole self to work it’s a myth not everyday somethings belong in certain settings or a call to a therapist, coach , support or core person but not work forum. So I strongly agree with knowing your limits and understanding your audience.

Yes, telling a story is about giving people a personal experience to relate to so they are on the journey with you. I’ll offer a question instead of advice. Is it your story to tell until you received the full lesson.blessing? If you are still processing it you haven’t received the full blessing. Why serve cake uncooked?

Knowing your own super powers and helping others spot theirs is a lovely quality in a colleague. When you see things others do better, naturally, tell them. It’s helpful to have that mirror. And if you are coming from a place of knowing and owning what you’re good and not good at, all the more credible.

Whether the story is one of struggle or triumph it’s important of one to know the art of drawing out lessons that can build. You can only sit in the strength of your story if you have healed from it. It’s also important to remember as you share your story it’s about service or about others and how they can see themselves in the story but not about you so take self important out if it.

When you let others into your story you give permission for both positive and negative feedback so don’t take it personal if it comes off as an attack it’s not about you it’s about the story .

Whether you are in a startup, military, or a nonprofit, at the end of the day - its key to rely on professional help rather than always shouldering every problem as colleague. Its key we all become resources to ensure we create quality workplaces, but in the end professional EAP, counseling, spiritual, and healthcare services are often needed. Its key to share, but often times experiences require individualized professional care. One thing I have seen is other managers openly share that they've gone to counseling or asked for help in a professional manner; often time leading by example helps break the stigma. Keep sharing but no your limits...

Everyone's experiences are different, however we can learn enough to understand each other and empathized (over sympathize) with each other's experiences. Sharing is key, but understanding that the individual experience may manifest different opinions, emotions, and thus experiences. Listening is key when people share.