What are some common rapport-building mistakes that can backfire or damage your reputation?

1 Why Rapport Matters

Rapport is the feeling of mutual understanding, harmony, and sympathy that you share with someone. It is based on matching or mirroring their verbal and non-verbal cues, such as tone, body language, and emotions. Rapport helps you create a positive impression, reduce conflict, and influence others. It also makes you feel more comfortable, confident, and engaged in the interaction.

2 When to Break Rapport

However, rapport is not always desirable or appropriate. In certain situations, it may be necessary to break rapport and establish boundaries to assert yourself, your values, or your interests. For instance, if you are dealing with someone who is abusive, manipulative, or disrespectful, or if you are facing a conflict of interest, a disagreement, or a negotiation, it may be necessary to break rapport. Additionally, if you are in a position of authority, responsibility, or leadership, or if you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or uncomfortable, or if you are compromising your integrity, identity, or goals, it may be necessary to break rapport.

3 How to Break Rapport

Breaking rapport does not mean being rude, hostile, or aggressive; rather, it involves creating a respectful distance, a clear distinction, or a firm stance. To do this, you can change your verbal and non-verbal cues, such as tone, volume, pace, posture, and eye contact. Additionally, you can use assertive language, such as "I", "no", "thank you", and "I disagree". Furthermore, setting and enforcing boundaries, such as time, space, and expectations, can help you break rapport. Additionally, expressing your opinions, feelings, and needs without blaming, judging, or attacking, as well as asking questions, challenging assumptions, and requesting evidence, can all help you break rapport.

5 How to Avoid Rapport-Building Mistakes

Rapport-building is not a one-size-fits-all technique and requires sensitivity, adaptability, and authenticity. To avoid rapport-building mistakes that can backfire or damage your reputation, it is important to be aware of your own and the other person's communication style, personality, and preferences. Additionally, you should be respectful of the other person's culture, background, and beliefs, as well as mindful of the context, purpose, and expectations of the interaction. Moreover, it is essential to be honest, transparent, and consistent in your words and actions, as well as flexible, open-minded, and willing to learn from the feedback and the outcomes.