Learn six simple strategies to communicate effectively, listen empathetically, find common ground, respect differences, seek solutions, and maintain rapport when you disagree with someone.

Express your thoughts and feelings clearly, respectfully, and calmly, without attacking or judging the other person. Use specific examples, facts, and evidence to support your point of view.

How do you build trust and rapport with someone you disagree with?

Conflict and disagreement are inevitable in any relationship, whether personal or professional. However, they don't have to ruin your trust and rapport with the other person. In fact, you can use them as opportunities to build confidence and understanding, if you follow some simple strategies. In this article, you will learn how to communicate effectively, listen empathetically, find common ground, and respect differences when you disagree with someone.

1 Communicate effectively

The first step to build trust and rapport with someone you disagree with is to communicate effectively. This means expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly, respectfully, and calmly, without attacking, blaming, or judging the other person. It also means avoiding assumptions, generalizations, and exaggerations that can distort the reality and trigger defensiveness. Instead, use specific examples, facts, and evidence to support your point of view, and acknowledge the validity of the other person's perspective.

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Karim Munir

CFO (Including Operations) at Aga Khan Education Service.
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Express your thoughts and feelings clearly, respectfully, and calmly, without attacking or judging the other person. Use specific examples, facts, and evidence to support your point of view.

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Michael Burkey

Dog Behaviorist / Business Owner at Michigan Dog Training Inc.
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It’s important to get beyond what the story the other person and ourselves are telling themselves and ourselves about a situation. What are the facts of the situation instead of what we make it to mean. Then we can communicate effectively with each other about the situation.

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Tushna Vania

YES to Exploring Wholesome HR Opportunities in DXB | Talent Acquisition | HRBP| OD
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One of the key elements in building rapport or trust with anyone and specifically with someone who you might often disagree with is to be consistent with your words and actions, and that requires your behavior to be non-discriminatory, non-prejudiced and more empathetic than ever.

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2 Listen empathetically

The second step to build trust and rapport with someone you disagree with is to listen empathetically. This means paying attention to what the other person is saying, without interrupting, criticizing, or dismissing their ideas. It also means showing genuine interest, curiosity, and compassion for their feelings, needs, and values. You can use open-ended questions, paraphrasing, and reflecting to clarify and confirm your understanding, and to demonstrate that you care and respect them as a human being.

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Jak Savage MBE 💚💙
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I agree, in order to listen effectively you need to 'actively' listen to their point of view. Ask explanatory questions and encourage them to elaborate on their way of thinking to inform your understanding. Being mindful of what your body language is saying whilst you listen is a valuable skill. Not treating small pauses as places to interject or interrupt can also be beneficial to affording them time to explain effectively. The 'check back' method is handy in checking your own understanding at the end of them sharing their view - an effective method to demonstrate that you have listened. Your response should include an explanation of your own view point avoiding saying 'I don't agree' just explain how and why you have a different opinion.

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3 Find common ground

The third step to build trust and rapport with someone you disagree with is to find common ground. This means identifying and emphasizing the areas of agreement, similarity, and shared goals that you have with the other person. It also means acknowledging and appreciating the strengths, contributions, and positive intentions that they bring to the situation. By finding common ground, you can reduce the gap between you and the other person, and create a sense of cooperation and collaboration.

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4 Respect differences

The fourth step to build trust and rapport with someone you disagree with is to respect differences. This means accepting and valuing the diversity of opinions, beliefs, and preferences that exist among people, without trying to change, convince, or persuade them to adopt yours. It also means recognizing and managing your own biases, emotions, and triggers that can interfere with your objectivity and openness. By respecting differences, you can foster a climate of mutual respect and tolerance, and avoid unnecessary conflicts and arguments.

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5 Seek solutions

The fifth step to build trust and rapport with someone you disagree with is to seek solutions. This means focusing on the problem, not the person, and exploring possible options, alternatives, and compromises that can satisfy both parties. It also means being flexible, creative, and willing to negotiate and make concessions, without compromising your core values and principles. By seeking solutions, you can achieve a win-win outcome that benefits both of you and enhances your relationship.

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6 Maintain rapport

The sixth and final step to build trust and rapport with someone you disagree with is to maintain rapport. This means following up on the agreed actions, commitments, and expectations, and providing feedback, support, and recognition to the other person. It also means keeping the communication lines open, and addressing any issues or concerns that may arise promptly and constructively. By maintaining rapport, you can sustain and strengthen your trust and rapport with the other person, and build confidence in yourself and your relationship.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How do you build trust and rapport with someone you disagree with?

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1 Communicate effectively

2 Listen empathetically

3 Find common ground

4 Respect differences

5 Seek solutions

6 Maintain rapport

7 Here’s what else to consider

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