How can you provide feedback that is both supportive and challenging?

Feedback should be honest and not rude. Make sure whenever you feel somebody in your team is not performing well. Don't give feedback in front of others, it might be embarrassing and demotivating for them. Schedule a meeting, make them feel comfortable and frankly start the conversation that talks about the particular work they are doing. Start by saying the positive things they have done and then help them understand how they can improve the work they are not performing well in. Make sure, you explain in a structured manner which also provides them different ways they can improve or provide them with the solutions for their mistakes in this manner you can easily guide them and help them become a better team member.

Focus on recent, concrete examples. Describe the situation objectively, stating just the facts. Be clear and detailed about the actions you observed and their results, good or bad. Avoid vague, generalized critiques that may confuse. Don't let too much time pass before addressing issues. Feedback is most useful when fresh. Make sure to call out strengths too. Acknowledge what they did well and right. Support builds confidence to hear challenges.

I like to refer to American basketball legend Doc Rivers here - "Average players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached. Great players want to be told the truth". The workplace is no different. No sugar coating and no over-dramatisaton - 'and the truth shall set you free'

Effective feedback is a cornerstone of personal & professional growth. When done right, feedback can motivate individuals to excel. Striking a balance between being supportive & challenging serves as a catalyst for improvement. We can use the "Sandwich" Technique by beginning with positive feedback to boost confidence. Then insert the constructive feedback as the meat of the conversation. Finally concluding with encouragement & additional positive remarks. Providing supportive & challenging feedback is an essential skill for personal & professional development. By creating a nurturing environment, focusing on specific behaviors, and framing feedback as growth opportunities, we can empower individuals to strive for continuous improvement.

Simplest approach for me has been to rewrite any sentence with a “but” in it to one with an “and”. We don’t realize it but many have strengths and challenges tied together in a skill set. The word “but” has a way of immediately neutralizing positive feedback as the sentence shifts to the challenge. Good job, but you missed a spot. Great work, and if you increase focus on these two areas, you’ll be even better at it. Same info, two completely different messages.

Feeback needs to be candid, but thoughtful. It needs to when possible address the big picture punctuated by examples (issues are seldom one-off). Feedback should start from a place of coaching and growth and evolve as the challenges either improve or not.

In addition, it is important to maintain a supportive tone when providing feedback. It is crucial to acknowledge the recipient's efforts and strengths while addressing areas for improvement. Offering praise and recognition for their achievements can help to balance any criticism, ensuring that motivation and morale are not compromised. By being specific and timely, utilizing the STAR method and maintaining a supportive tone, leaders can provide feedback that is both challenging and supportive, promoting improvement without damaging relationships or demotivating individuals. Mastering the skill of providing feedback in this manner is instrumental in fostering a positive and productive work environment.

As an Enneagram practioner, I focus on self-awareness and other's awareness. I remind my clients that the person they are giving feedback to is different than they are and to focus on the person versus a particular method. Kindness, body language, and curiosity are always key.

These are some of the most common mistakes supervisors make when providing feedback. Timeliness is critical! The longer you wait from the moment the behavior (positive or negative) occurs to recognize and promote or discourage it, the weaker your feedback becomes. Specificity is essential! Whether your feedback is positive or addressing a deficit, it’s true power lies with how clear it is on the behaviors you want the person to continue performing or to change. Ambiguous statements like, “that went very well” or “you did terrible” leave the receiver guessing what exactly they did well or poorly. It is no wonder then why they may not bring their “A game” next time if they don’t know what exactly it comprises.

When giving constructive feedback, skip the praise to avoid the "feedback sandwich", which can confuse employees. It's tempting to use praise to ease your discomfort, but a mix of praise and criticism works better in separate conversations over the long run. Research suggests giving 4-5 positive points of feedback for every critical one. So if you want to be even more successful at delivering critical feedback, make sure you are also prioritizing positive feedback!

I like to have frequent "debriefs." The debrief is a chance to discuss what worked well and talk through opportunities to improve in the future. The tone is always constructive and solution focused and is more of a feedback collaboration. We highlight and celebrate the positive and identify steps to grow and improve.

While some may think the "feedback sandwich" is not the way to go, I have found it to be a powerful tool, when well thought out. Instead of a sandwich that can be trite, or one that it hard to swallow, consider another approach. Think about something the person does that is excellent and value adding. Then, provide very specific feedback describing why the recent behavior detracted from delivering the excellent value that you know is possible. Finish the "sandwich" with an example of that person rising to a challenge, so you conclude with a confidence booster.

Start your conversation by setting the intention for the conversation. The intention is forward moving and outcome focused. So many managers start the conversation with false praise, to grease the wheels, or thy start with the problem. Neither of these strategies are effective. For example, if the problem is that your employee isn't reaching their sales quota, don't say, "My intention for our meeting is to find out why you aren't making your sales goals." Instead, say, "The intention for our meeting today is to talk about increasing sales, and how I can support you." The intention helps you stay on track and avoid distractions.

When sharing constructive feedback (i.e. an opportunity for your teams growth vs. criticism), use the SBI model to be concise. Describe the Situation (who, what, when, where), the observed Behavior that wasn't ideal (the person's how) and the Impact on the desired outcome (results). Ensure feedback is provided in a way that doesn't damage the individuals innate credibility but rather highlights a skill or behavior where further development would be beneficial.

My usual approach is to kind of review the situation, identify the things that maybe didn’t work so well, and then describe some growth directions. I try to ensure that everything connects to other people and to business outcomes: here’s how this might not be pointed toward our desired outcomes, and here’s a way that, in the future, might do so. But I also try to point out areas where things do seem well aligned to our desired outcomes - this is working well, keep that up.

Providing feedback can be uncomfortable when we feel like our words aren't "nice." We've been trained "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all" from childhood. If that causes you to hesitate, begin by asking questions like "How do you feel about your performance? Where did you excel? What do you believe you should improve? Their answers can help inform your input. Then begin with concrete examples of where they excelled followed by observations. I prefer the phrase "I noticed you . . . " when introducing areas of improvement. I offer 2-3 salient areas. Many times, I reframe the language they used to offer concrete examples of what I noticed and strategies they "might consider" instead of offering "you need to."

Agree with most of the points. Here are some additional points I have found to be both supportive and challenging: 1. Focus on Behavior, Not Personality: Ensure that your feedback centers on specific behaviors or actions rather than making judgments about the person's character. For example, instead of saying, "You're consistently late" you could say, "I've noticed that you've missed some deadlines recently." 2. Develop a Feedback Culture: Foster a workplace culture where giving and receiving feedback is normalized and encouraged. When feedback is a regular part of the environment, it becomes less intimidating and more constructive.

The previous approaches mentioned are valuable and as some have said, it depends. I like to back up a little bit. The assumption about the need for feedback is that we or a leader has judged the performance of an employee as substandard. I like to start with asking “how bad was it?” Then I ask myself “why” would they have done what they did. I then ask the person “why” did they do what they did. This allows them to explain their thought process. Maybe it was flawed, maybe they just didn’t know. And what’s intriguing is if they knew it was bad and they say it was, then we can ask how they will do it differently next time. This creates an environment for growth and learning. People aren’t ignorant, leverage their intelligence for learning.

“Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it.” — Timothy Keller

When asking a team member to share their perspective and feelings while receiving feedback, leaders must understand that their role during this process is to empower employees, while encouraging self-reflection and self-evaluation. In order for this to be effective, leaders must first be willing to look within themselves and make any necessary corrections that are needed before asking others to fix what is broken within themselves so they can model appropriate behaviors. Secondly, it means leaders have to be open to learning from the perspective of their team members; willing to see the world through the eyes of their employees based on their answers and the insight that they share while receiving critical feedback.

In the book “Get it Done” by Carol Dweck, she talks about when to give different forms of feedback… In the beginning of learning a new skill, focus on what they've already accomplished and be encouraging. As they move towards expertise, shift your focus towards what is still to be learned and unique constructive criticism. But how do you know? By the initial and continuing assessment which is accomplished by asking great questions and listening.

Be comfortable with a bit of silence. Working on feedback within a group or 1:1 should be like drinking a cappuccino— You should lead the conversation during the foam, but listen during the coffee. Even if being silent for 30 seconds compels others talk.

When you reach the point in an interaction where it is time to provide feedback, be sure to ask "How" questions, instead of "Why" questions. This approach has a two-fold benefit. First, it invites the person to be a collaborative contributor to this conversation, as opposed to a silent subordinate. Secondly, "Why" questions cause a person to put up a wall and become defensive and reactive, instead of collaborative and proactive. As important as question asking is, it is equally important to listen. Listening is a skill that requires much practice and modeling. remember to demonstrate open, welcoming stances and gesturing, concentrate on your contributing party, responding with a smile.

One of the most powerful things we can do when we provide feedback (that is both specific to behavior & its impact) is to wrap the feedback with a question to the feedback recipient. This allows the solution/next step to be co-created and owned by the person who needs to correct a behavior or duplicate the right behaviors for continued success. It's a powerful fourth step that is seldom leveraged and can make all the difference.

When giving feedback, it is important to consider the fact that you are only witnessing the world from your perspective, from your ‘truth’. There may be some objective facts about the situation, but what goes wrong is that we often fail to separate the narrative from our own perspectives. Just like you can only share your perspective, the same is true for your listener in reverse. So in reality, in these conversations, whilst there may be universal hard truths, the interpretation of those truths is often only perspective and therefore, it helps to choose your words from a place of inquiry rather than a statement of fact.

Active listening is a critical skill that’s recommended often but practiced little. This means: 1. Focus. Focus on the conversation that is happening now. Do not check for texts, chat a coworker or read your emails. 2. Ask. Ask probing questions that help you to gain deeper perspective. Do not be flippant or accusatory. 3. Listen. Listen for the meaning in the answer to your questions. Do not ‘assume’ you know more than you do. We all know what assume makes. Truly listen for understanding. 4. Wait. Take a moment to consider the other person’s perspective prior to drawing conclusions. Do not immediately judge or reactively respond. 5. Share. Share after careful consideration of the deeper understanding you now have.

Be curious & compassionate- By doing this you’ll understand the person’s perspective which may illuminate a more powerful, positive and appropriate feedback discussion (2-way)

Here's something I always say to my team: Bring me solutions. Not problems. In a reactive industry, leaders need to portion their time carefully. I am often in that situation. So I dislike comms that are merely informative — esp those that simply make me aware of a problem. This can kickstart a back-and-forth dialogue that can take ages to achieve a resolution. Encouraging your team to be solution-focused teaches them to be proactive, self-reliant and creative. It escalates the situation and brings it closer to where things are actionable. My teams now suggest ways to deal with the problem when they tell me about it. They aren't always correct. But then it creates a teaching opportunity. Start asking: What would you do?

I've found encouraging reflection and self evaluation ensures the conversation is beneficial in targeting the reasons for feedback. As with any conversation it must be two way and both parties need to actively listen to ensure understanding the nature of the feedback and the agreed outcome. I have found when giving feedback it is important that it is tailored to suit the individual you are in discussion with, remembering they are individuals and a one size fits approach, I feel is not good enough or fit for purpose.

It all starts with investment in your Wellbeing. If you feel like your manager is invested in you, you are more likely to trust them and be able to accept both positive and negative feedback. If there is no trust then any negative feedback could result in uncertainty about your future and security.

Feedback is empowering. It is the opportunity to share experience and knowledge with the recipient to broaden their thinking and approach to a situation. In turn, they benefit by developing their own ideas and solutions for improvement. It is an ongoing process.

Let's touch base a few times to make sure you have everything you need. In fact, what's happening here makes me think about what [name] said in this article...I wonder what you would think of her approach?

check in with the person regularly to find out if what you discussed is working or whether they have discovered other ways to solve the issue send them articles or posts that are relevant and could help

This is critical to coaching/mentorship. If the feedback is coming from a desire to facilitate and foster learning, development and positive behavioral changes then these would naturally follow. If the goal of the feedback is to condemn/blame/be critical without guidance then the interaction would not be positive regardless of whether there is support or resources are available.

It is also important to consider that you could be the problem! Assuming everyone understands the brief or changing goal posts often creates a series of issues. Over-communicating and checking everyone’s understanding of what is required is often the trick to avoiding issues. It also makes the feedback loop easier.

This step is where we most often fail. Follow up is crucial to ensuring that there is real understanding. This happens through positive feedback and reinforcement that are aligned with clear expectations.

An example of a simple process is as follows: 1. **Create a Feedback Schedule:** Setting regular intervals for feedback can make it a routine and less daunting. 2. **Encourage Self-reflection:** Ask the recipient how they feel about the feedback and what they think they can do. 3. **Engage in Two-way Dialogue:** Allow the recipient to give feedback on your feedback. This creates an open channel for effective communication. 4. **Document Progress:** Keeping a record helps to measure improvements and areas still needing work. 5. **Be Specific with Praise:** Instead of just saying "good job", pinpoint what was done well.

Agreed, the follow up is often the forgotten piece. Noticing when the person makes good changes as a result of feedback given; acknowledging and recognising their efforts is motivating.

You really turned things around - impressive. This is the kind of thing that will make our organization move forward with finesse!

Spot on! It may seem obvious but much feedback given is solely or mostly negative despite the positive behavior/performance of the person being critiqued. Feedback should be fair, truthful and balanced against reality.

Celebrating other people's success is very motivational. Follow-up is an important part of giving feedback. Without this, it would be hard for people to take your feedback seriously.

Gauge the person's level of experience and confidence. A beginner may need more encouragement, while an expert prefers detailed critique. Adapt your tone accordingly. More warmth for underconfident people, sternness for those who push boundaries. Explain your intent is to help them grow. Make it a two-way dialogue, not one-way criticism. Ask for their perspectives too. Check-in on how your message was received. Welcome feedback on your feedback - this ensures it's constructive.

The most crucial aspect to adjust for each person is the impact of their behaviour. For any action there are a few impacts to choose from - choose the one that will resonate with them the most. For task focussed individuals for example, they may be persuaded to change with impacts that concentrate on how the project has been effected/delayed. Others might respond more to hearing how the team are annoyed with them. Choose impacts that they will hear the loudest.

What's unique about what you did here is [x]. Any ideas about how we can apply such a turnaround in other areas of our work? (inviting leadership and pride in work)

To adapt to a person and/or situation is about taking the time to understand each persons cultural communication. In some cultures touch is an offensive form of behaviour, as is eye contact, and in others shaking one’s hand is inappropriate. Also look at the environment that you are in and ask yourself ‘if you are out of the office would you give the same type of verbal and nonverbal feedback?’ This is important as different cultures have different ways of supporting each other in different situations. The worlds is diverse in culture and genders which makes it a necessity to check in on people about ‘how’ they would like to receive feedback in different situations.

I find it more useful to have a "feed forward" approach than a "feed back" approach. Feed forward allows both parties to brainstorm together towards creating new solutions than go on the downward spiral of blaming and finger pointing. It creates new energy and focus towards creating desired outcomes.

In my experience: 1. To obtain feedback and, more importantly, do something with it, one must be open to listening and growth. 2. In too many cases, feedback is not constructive or specific, but rather vague. 3. The term itself has evolved into an anxiety word, especially in organizations where fear of failure prevails. 4. Waiting until the next performance appraisal is insufficient; feedback should be an ongoing process. And 5 - I once asked a CEO when was the last time he received feedback. He replied, "I can't recall, but I'm being judged every day." Feedback is not judgement, it’s a collective process that benefits everyone involved. We can all learn how to give and receive feedback, but it's vital that we practice what we preach.

Give feedback in the context of actions and impact without labelling the other person. Instead of saying, ‘you are defensive’ say ‘when you receive feedback, your reaction comes across as defensive that hampers team collaboration’. Don’t make the feedback an adjective through labels.

A few gems gathered over the decade of providing feedback: 1. Know your audience, objective, & message. Like a skilled artisan, tailor your feedback to the specific needs of the recipient 2. Preparation is power. Gather insights, research history, & map out potential outcomes 3. Build bridges, not walls. Start by establishing rapport to increase receptivity & minimize resistance 4. Construct, don't deconstruct. Be constructive & respectful to maximize engagement 5. Support with specifics. Avoid generalizations & vague claims; cite concrete examples 6. Foster dialogue, not monologue. Create a safe space for open discussion & shared perspectives 7. Look forward, not back. Help the person to learn from their mistakes, not dwell on them

This is a great piece about the process of giving feedback in a 1:1 setting. But what if the organisation that you're working in doesn't have a feedback culture? When I joined a new company, I quickly learnt it wasn't used to direct feedback. Historically, team members rarely gave or received constructive feedback. We implemented a 360 degree feedback process and crucially incorporated that into our overall business goals. By including the culture change as a key business priority, we signalled the importance of individual and team development. In implementing the new process, we also took time to explore why and to practice great constructive feedback. Initially, people were afraid, but over time and with practice, they saw the value.

It involves striking a balance between acknowledging strengths, offering specific examples, and focusing on behaviours rather than personality traits. The "feedback sandwich" approach, starting with positives, addressing areas for improvement, and ending with praise, can create a constructive atmosphere. Empathy, non-judgmental language, and a commitment to growth are essential, as is soliciting the individual's perspective and setting clear expectations for improvement. Offering support, resources, and maintaining a growth mindset reinforces that development is possible with effort. Consistency in feedback delivery fosters an environment where individuals feel valued, motivated to improve, and confident in their abilities.

Creating an environment and culture where seeking and welcoming feedback is the norm and being a model can help the emmployees to accept the feedback and ind improve their performance and create a learning organization.

Please be clear why you are providing the feedback. Is it for you, the organisation, or the individual receiving the feedback. Perhaps all of the above. I find that I get better results if I start from the other and adopt a “other centred” approach. Basically, it’s not about me. Layer onto that a compassionate practice - identify his / her suffering and help him / her minimise or alleviate that suffering. This way, we can help better performance AND humanise the workplace at the same time. It takes courage to be compassionate.

Here's my feedback 'checklist': 1. I check my attitude. You have to care about the person you are giving the feedback to. That doesn’t mean that you have to know them super well, it could actually be your first meeting, the key is about caring enough to understand (and take responsibility) for the imprint that you leave on them. 2. I check my energy. Particularly with feedback, it’s worth checking in on your own energy and intention. Is the thing that you feel you need to share honest? Is it necessary? Is it constructive? 3. I check the time is one that works for the other person. Try to also find a time that works for you, where you can create the space to feel as calm as possible and be prepared for the conversation.