Your team member is defensive about feedback on their work. How can you address their reactions effectively?
When a team member gets defensive about feedback, it's crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity and a strategy. Here are some effective ways to manage their reactions:
How do you tackle defensiveness in feedback sessions? Share your strategies.
Your team member is defensive about feedback on their work. How can you address their reactions effectively?
When a team member gets defensive about feedback, it's crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity and a strategy. Here are some effective ways to manage their reactions:
How do you tackle defensiveness in feedback sessions? Share your strategies.
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Each person has a soft spot. If you poke at it, this will make them defensive/put them off (lose interest in listening to you). Understanding each person’s soft spot & handling it accordingly will ensure smoother, more productive communication. If one likes to be the guy with all the answers, telling them they don't will trigger their defense system. Another is: One who doesn't like anyone tell them how to do their work. Instead of correcting them (like they don't know how to do their job), have a mutual conversation, honoring their opinion & not correcting it as if yours is superior. There are many personalities to come across in this little world. But being understood and honored are universal qualities that build connection & trust.
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Uma coisa que eu penso que ajuda é você estudar muito e se preparar a si próprio para ser um bom líder ou colega para dar feedbacks. Não importa o que você diz, mas sim o modo como você diz. As vezes um feedback difícil dito de uma maneira educada e objetiva funciona mais do que um elogio dito de maneira grosseira.
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To overcome a team member's defensiveness towards feedback, first create a friendly and confidential setting. Provide precise, constructive critique that focusses on the work rather than the individual. Encourage active listening and show empathy for their viewpoint. Frame feedback as a joint endeavour to improve. Highlight your strengths as well as places where you may improve. Allow for them feedback and explain any misunderstandings. Reinforce the importance of feedback in personal and professional development. This strategy promotes a constructive, growth-oriented feedback culture.
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It's never personal—until it is. People are naturally intuitive and perceptive, so if they become defensive, it’s worth reflecting on whether you’re being transparent, kind, and objective in your approach. Feedback isn’t just about pointing out what’s right or wrong; it’s an art. It can feel deeply personal, which is why many people resist it. Yet, effective feedback is essential for the growth of your team and the success of your organization. One framework that has helped me immensely comes from an episode of the HBR Leadership podcast by Harvard Business Review. They break down feedback into three essential categories: Appreciation, Coaching, and Evaluation, a game-changer for effective feedback.
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Before expressing constructive feedback to your team member, it is important to communicate positive reinforcement by addressing their strengths. As a result, the individual might not become defensive. Therefore, to be an effective communicator requires the ability to focus on the positive aspects of the person's performance and personality before addressing their weaknesses. Furthermore, it is pertinent to approach the context by active listening and encouraging open dialogue between you and your team member.
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When a team member is defensive about feedback, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Start by ensuring the feedback is constructive and focused on the work, not the person. It’s crucial to create a safe environment where the team member feels comfortable and open to receiving feedback. Instead of pointing out flaws, emphasize areas for improvement and growth. Additionally, ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective and encourage a two-way conversation. Acknowledge their feelings and reinforce that feedback is a tool for development, not criticism. Offering support and solutions for improvement, along with regular follow-ups, shows your commitment to their growth.
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How skilled leaders address defensiveness in feedback conversations (3 actionable steps): START WITH EMPATHY Acknowledge their efforts and validate their perspective before giving feedback. ASK, DON’T TELL Frame feedback as questions to encourage reflection, not resistance. FOCUS ON THE FUTURE Shift the conversation toward growth and next steps rather than past mistakes. Feedback is about partnership → not criticism.
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Utilize the '3Cs' framework: Contextualize, Connect, and Construct. Contextualize the feedback within the project's goals, Connect the feedback to specific behaviors or actions, and Construct a collaborative plan for improvement, empowering the team member to take ownership of their growth.
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Keep your tone neutral and avoid reacting emotionally to any defensiveness. This sets the example of calm professionalism and reduces the likelihood of escalating the situation.Acknowledge their feelings and express empathy. For instance, “I understand this might feel frustrating, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page.” Validating their emotions can diffuse defensiveness.Offer practical suggestions for improvement rather than just pointing out mistakes. For example, “Next time, try X approach to make sure the process runs smoothly.”Be consistent with your feedback and communication. The more often feedback is delivered constructively and with care, the more likely the team member will accept it in the future.
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