What are effective methods for finding common ground in coaching sessions?

The coach has an important role and duty in offering a space for trust and safety, by being present in the moment, paying attention to what the other person says, or leaves out, how the voice sounds and changes, when a pause occurs, how body language changes, as well as by noticing and acknowledging emotions and reactions.

In, my opinion this approach goes beyond the surface – it's about connecting on a profound level. It's a way of acknowledging what's said and what's left unspoken, helping you decipher their true needs, motivations, and challenges. The beauty of active listening lies in its ability to uncover the intricacies of your client's perspective, providing valuable insights that allow you to tailor your coaching strategy with precision. It's more than just a skill; it's a philosophy that transforms coaching from a service to a genuine partnership for growth and success.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got in this area was to simply assume the other person speaks a different language, even though they use English. What that means is that when they use certain words or expressions, I don't make an assumption but simply go in with curiosity. When the other person says, "I want to have more meaningful meetings," my response then could be, "What do you mean by 'meaningful'?" And help the person express it. Common ground starts with establishing common understanding.

Fundamental esta competencia emparentada con la Presencia. Escuchar las creencias limitantes que le son transparentes a nuestro cliente para crear consciencia.

To be a great coach, you must first be a great listener. Spend time listening to your clients, understanding their frustrations, challenges, and the emotions behind their silence. By truly understanding them, you can provide tailored solutions that meet their needs. Clients appreciate coaches who empathize with them and understand their pain points. Find common ground in your coaching sessions and avoid being overly pushy. Take things one step at a time, respecting your client's pace and working with it.

Active listening is the cornerstone of effective coaching, establishing trust and collaboration. It involves not just hearing words but understanding the nuances—how they're spoken and even what's unsaid. By reflecting back, asking open-ended questions, and summarizing, you show your client that you deeply care, comprehend, and respect their perspective. This creates a space for them to open up, revealing needs, motivations, and challenges, essential for tailoring a coaching approach that truly resonates.

Recognizing that the client is like a mirror and asking myself “how or where in my life am I doing the same thing/ facing a similar challenge?”. When I am in this frame of mind, I definitely find common ground with my clients. And when I don’t, it means I just need to look deeper. 😊

Chemistry between the coach and client is the key. Understand the context of the coachee and make sure you both can understand a common ground. Listening actively and spending quality time will help here.

Effectivement, l'écoute active sans interprétation est la fondation d'un accompagnement sur mesures. Pratiquer le questionnement vertical avec reformulation des propos mot à mot du coaché: "lorsque tu dis (reformulation) .... qu'entends-tu par là?" "je comprends que ... (reformulation) et peux-tu me dire ce que tu ressens par rapport à cela?" De la sorte, nous permettons au coaché d'exister, de s'exprimer dans sa nature tant intellectuelle qu'émotionnelle. Départir ces sphères serait une porte ouverte à un risque d'imposer nos suppositions, faire des allégations, des projections, des transferts ou des conter-transferts. Permettre au coaché de se positionner par l'expression aidée et accompagnée de questionnement verticale.

Aktives zuhören kann in nicht wenigen Coaching-Sitzungen das einzige "Tool" sein, um dem Klienten zu unterstützen. Dazu gehört auch die Beobachtung von Gestik, Mimik oder Körperhaltung des Gegenübers. Übrigens hilft aktives Zuhören auch den meisten Führungskräften!

Genuine empathy is crucial in coaching to establish common ground. By truly understanding and feeling what your client is experiencing, you validate their feelings and foster a deeper connection. This approach shows you're aligned with their journey, setting aside any judgments or biases. Empathy not only bridges gaps but also creates a supportive environment where clients feel seen and heard, paving the way for meaningful progress. It's about being more than a coach; it's about being a trusted ally in their personal and professional growth.

Listen mindfully to understand, with empathy, and without judgements, preconceived biases or assumptions. Building a connection founded on trust and respect is vital.

Empathy strengthens the connection between the coach and the client and demonstrates a shared commitment to their journey. By actively putting yourself in their shoes, you gain insights into their challenges and foster an atmosphere where they feel heard and valued. Moreover, it serves as a powerful tool to dismantle any preconceived judgments, biases, or assumptions, allowing for a truly client-centric coaching process. Integrating empathy into coaching is not just a skill; it's the art of forging authentic relationships that drive meaningful and sustainable transformation.

The coach can create a powerful space for development and self reflection for the client. Amazing things can happen when the coach puts themselves to the side and puts full focus on and acknowledges the client as they are, with all their needs, flaws, fears and disbeliefs, with all their emotions, hopes and dreams, with all their talks and unspoken thoughts. What matters is there, in the moment, in the space, in the resonance created between them.

True empathy is the bedrock of trust which becomes a responsibility. Your client should feel comfortable and find you worthy as a sacred haven.

People are looking at you for your expertise based on experiences. This doesn’t mean you are inflexible. You listen and apply. Those in attendance will listen and apply. Together policy in today’s world will become acceptable.

In this regard, a great system to learn from is Non-Violent Communication. NVC teaches you to listen actively, and reflect back empathetically to your client's needs, feelings and requests, ultimately making them feel truly seen and heard. More often than not, giving your client space to express and be seen can make a huge difference in their willingness to approach the next steps in their coaching process.

Only when you are consumed with your clients' fears/dreams can you administer the appropriate advice...this can only be done by being empathetic.

- I often find it very helpful to understand that everybody has their own world and it’s nearly impossible to see the world through the clients eyes and therefore it’s so important to understand their story, their values, beliefs and environment to understand at least the filters they use to see things -being tolerant and empathic is so much easier if you know their story and how it shaped them

El concepto de empatia como ponerse en el lugar del otro es de dificil concrecion a menos que uno sea el otro. Todo lo que conforma a un ser es único. Desde este lugar el respeto al otro es de suma importancia como tambien ser consciente de acompañar desde la compasión, con amor.

Everybody wants something. This is such a universal truth. It's easy to get carried away in conversations about what we don't want and discuss problems. However, an equally valid and a lot more constructive way is to think about where we want to go and what our actual goal is, our future state. So, when somebody is negative or doesn't know where to go, just ask them, "Where do you want to go instead? What would success look like for you and for us? Or what is the ideal outcome for you?" I've seen many times that this is a major breakthrough opportunity for clients.

the concept of positive reframing adds a refreshing and constructive dimension to the coaching process. It's not merely about addressing challenges but actively seeking out opportunities, strengths, and benefits within them. By encouraging a shift from a fixed or negative mindset to one that embraces growth and positivity, positive reframing becomes a catalyst for transformative change.

In my experience, when speaking with a very opinionated client, it may be a little difficult to do this, so I usually present it in a question form, it usually sounds like this “when you were talking about so and so, you mentioned so and so, is that exactly what you meant or did you mean —- I insert the new perspective —-“ this has worked pretty well in the past. And some other times when you observe that you have built really strong trust, and rapport you can just occasionally chime in with a one word, one sentence or even an adjective, that restructures what they are saying in the most harmless yet powerfully way. When they say “I used to be someone who does so and so” you can chime in with a “you used to think of yourself as so and so”

A client's orientation differ from another as some are realists and others idealist. It'll take a lot more in making a customer shift ground, especially if it's a negative mindset, be that as it may; as a coach, finding a common ground is the icing on the cake...with a bit or more of seduction, the right frame is achieved.

The skill of reframing is undervalued. For a client realizing a different perspective is sometimes impossible without new eyes. Reframing by another person brings a new perspective, and can bring change.

Positive reframing helps people see challenges as opportunities, not obstacles, aiding in managing stressful situations and developing resilience. This skill allows clients to change their perspective, recognizing that while they may not always control circumstances, they can control their reactions. Coaches play a crucial role in helping clients identify negative thought patterns and develop new, positive viewpoints, boosting confidence and motivating change. Positive reframing is not about avoiding problems but about finding a balance between realistic optimism and practical action, supporting clients' psychological flexibility and facilitating positive change.

Positives Reframing würde ich herunterbrechen auf "Reframing". Denn Reframing bedeutet nicht das positive Umdeuten dessen, was als problematisch erlebt wird: Reframing ist die Einladung zum Perspektivwechsel, der einen Unterschied macht. Ganz oft können als problematisch erlebte Situationen dann als positiver gesehen werden.

In my experience, when speaking with a very opinionated client, it may be a little difficult to do this, so I usually present it in a question form, it usually sounds like this “when you were talking about so and so, you mentioned so and so, is that exactly what you meant or did you mean —- I insert the new perspective —-“ this has worked pretty well in the past. And some other times when you observe that you have built really strong trust, and rapport you can just occasionally chime in with a one word, one sentence or even an adjective, that restructures what they are saying in the most harmless yet powerfully way. When they say “I used to be someone who does so and so” you can chime in with a “you used to think of yourself as so and so”

Si bien el proceso personal es importante, tambien el acompañar con herramientas que el cliente pueda aplicar para colaborar con su transformacion, es el caso del ejercicio fisico, comer bien y dormir bien, como propone el Dr. Mario Alonso Puig.

Alinhamento é o caminho para execução das definições estratégicas. Ajustar as expectativas e ajudar modular um plano executável se torna a melhor forma de uma entrega adequada ao cliente, esse deve ser o ponto de auxílio e foco principal. Criar o GPS da execução para alcance de bons resultados. Tranquilidade, realidade, transparência e pé no chão.

The client steers the agenda, while the coach guides the coaching process. The coach, responsible for forwarding action and deepening learning, focuses on the methodical journey rather than a specific outcome. The coach's role is to offer tailored methods, tools, and thought-provoking questions aligned with the client's desired outcome. It's a collaborative partnership, with the client driving the agenda and the coach facilitating a transformative process. 🌱

While aligning strategically is key to Coaching practice , this would be possible only when we listen actively and empathize honestly ... this will make a Coach understand the requirement of a Coachee and his/her goals and desires ... and as a Coach it's essential to use the tools & techniques accordingly.

I totally agree with this! Nothing happens without a strategy. Follow a plan, stick to it. No shortcuts. Work, work, work. Be ready to change things around if you have to. Everyday is a new challenge...

Coaching aims to help clients set and achieve specific, measurable goals, supporting their aspirations. It involves developing strategies and action plans. Beyond finding overlaps between client and coach visions, it fosters a partnership to achieve specific targets. The coach supports goal setting, planning, motivation, and overcoming obstacles, offering feedback. "Strategic alignment" means strategies developed together align with the client's values and the coach's methods, facilitating shared goals and ensuring coaching activities directly support achieving client objectives.

- I find this very helpful and would like to add that is very important that the goal need to be defined by the client to ensure they are internal motivated

As we have entered the mental landscape behind an initially verbally shared problem, we can navigate in that landscape: the client can see where he or she is currently standing, can tell me about what he's standing on, what is right in front of her, behind her, what is left and right. After that initial browsing, I can ask where he'd like to take a step and often by stepping in the mental landscape behind the initial verbally stated problem new options arise, new ways of seeing and thinking develop that can transfer to their real life difficulty as a problem-solving tool.

Atenção que respeito não é igual a passividade. Buscar conhecer sempre o seu e os limites da outra parte. Seu preparo e conhecimento sobre as reis demandas e culturas envolvidas a mesa de negociação também são boas ferramentas para não cometer erros tanto para mais como para menos e, literalmente, perder o cliente.

Respectful negotiation in coaching encompasses setting frameworks, psychological contracts, open communication, and feedback. It clarifies roles, expectations, and boundaries, fostering trust and clarity. This complex process includes managing conflicts and offering and receiving constructive feedback, ensuring support tailored to the client's needs. It facilitates ongoing adaptation, timely problem-solving, and guarantees that collaboration is satisfactory for both parties, building a strong, trust-based relationship.

For me as a coach it is important to set and accept boundaries, to define and communicate rules of engagement, but also to stay flexible and adjust to the situation and person.

When finding common ground, the coach shall use their expanded range of skills and tools in service to the client. Respectful and professional toward non-negotiable (often included in the code of conduct) the coach shall take charge, create flexibility and redesign alliance in the relationship at any given moment when needed. Invite the client to do the same.

Actually, creating a collaborative environment where coach and student both feel heard and respected helps build a common, comfortable, and acceptable ground for an effective coaching program. An open communication along with clear expectation setting besides other critical factors is crucial. Have a collaborative approach to identify the core of the issue and brainstorm together to find the best suitable solution. It is more up to the coach to create a supportive environment that encourages growth and positive changes in the student.

In Coaching-Sitzungen können unterschiedliche Standpunkte und Bedürfnisse aufeinandertreffen. Respektvolles Verhandeln bedeutet, die Meinungen und Gefühle aller Beteiligten anzuerkennen und gemeinsam nach fairen Lösungen zu suchen. Der Coach fungiert dabei als Vermittler und unterstutzt den Prozess, indem er eine offene Kommunikation fordert, Kompromisse vorschlagt und darauf achtet, dass alle Parteien gehört und respektiert werden. Durch respektvolles Verhandeln wird eine harmonische und kooperative Atmosphäre geschaffen, die es ermöglicht, eine gemeinsame Basis zu finden.

Siempre dentro del marco del acuerdo de coaching, como una forma de acompñar al despertar de habilidades, fortalezas y posibilidades.

Yup! Be ready to hear things you won't like sometimes. Accept criticism. Realize that not everything is going to work as you would think. Others have different ideas and that's ok

Es hilft, sich selber als Coach Grenzen zu setzten und eigene Kompetenzen zu reflektieren und einzuschätzen. Zum Teil gibt es gleitende Übergänge zwischen den Rollen Berater, Coach und Therapeut. Hier ist es wichtig, Klarheit über die Rolle des Coaches zu schaffen und Erwartungen des Klienten zu managen.

A Life Coach provides a supportive and non-judgmental space where clients can explore their inner world. This includes active listening, helping them to see things with a different perspective and reframing experiences positively. A Life Coach empowers a person to focus on possible solutions rather than problems and to set SMART goals enabling them to achieve them with accountability.

Listen to your client. Really listen. No agenda of trying find common ground. Truly listen and what arises in you from your experience, your training and your true self will be useful.

Active listening: Actively listen to the client's words, tone, and body language to understand their perspective, values, goals, and concerns. Demonstrate empathy and understanding by reflecting back what you hear and validating the client's experiences and emotions. By demonstrating genuine interest and attentiveness, you can create a sense of connection and mutual understanding.

Common ground is a subjective thing. Aim to understand the model of the world through which your client is viewing the world and then see how you can help your pov assimilate into it As a coach- your job is to challenge and love your client at the same time.

Listen to the exact words, tone, body language, twitches that the clients is sharing with you. The whole being speaks. As Agnes Varda, Belgian film maker, wrote: "If we would open people up, we'd see landscapes." In order for people to 'open up' and share their inner landscape as well as trust us to be their compagnon de route to enter their landscape - as they perhaps have never done before - we need to be aware of our own present state of being there for them - which means, just as in any meditative practice, to be observing in a non-judgmental manner. All is information in this way that can lead to a deeper understanding of the client by himself and a willingness to go on this shared endeavour.

Authenticity is key to building trust and common ground with a client. It acts as a solid platform for the client to take risks and be vulnerable. Be authentically yourself and don't play the role of "professional coach". Lean into to your personal style and humour. Clients will appreciate that and recognise it as authenticity.

In my experience active listening is the key. One other point I will bring on the table is acknowledging differences. While finding common ground is crucial, acknowledging and respecting differences also fundamental to building trust and a strong relationship. It shows openness and acceptance.

Another vital aspect to consider is understanding your clients' values and communicating in a way that resonates with them. Crossing this bridge ensures they don't feel you're on a different path. As a Master NLP Coach, I find tuning into clients' values integral to making them feel seen and heard during sessions. It's not a common practice, but it's crucial for ensuring that clients know their priorities are acknowledged and respected within the coaching context. This approach deepens the coaching relationship, making each session more impactful and aligned with what truly matters to them.

The cornerstone of establishing common ground in coaching is rooted in what I consider the first rule of being an exceptional coach: the art of asking simple, yet profound questions. These questions act as keys, unlocking the minds and hearts of clients. They pave the way for deep self-exploration and discovery. When questions are framed with sincerity and simplicity, they encourage self-reflection and foster an environment of openness. This approach not only facilitates a genuine understanding between the coach and client but also opens the window to common ground. It's in this shared space of understanding and trust that the true magic of coaching unfolds, leading to transformative insights and growth.

I advocate for controversial methods for finding common ground in coaching sessions. They challenge traditional approaches and norms and can be highly effective depending on the context and the individuals involved. Controversial methods require careful consideration and adaptation to the specific context and individuals involved in the coaching relationship. While they may challenge traditional approaches, when used thoughtfully, they can contribute to finding common ground and promoting meaningful growth and development.

Um im Coaching wirksam zu arbeiten, ist der Respekt vor dem Erleben und der Welt des Klienten kritisch für den Erfolg des Coachings. Das gelingt gut, wenn der Coach sehr gut differenzieren kann zwischen den Themen, Werten, Regungen oder Emotionen des Klienten und eben den Eigenen. Eigene Themen des Coaches können bewusste Angebote an den Klienten sein, aber es sollte eine bewusste Entscheidung des Coaches sein, was er einbringt und was nicht zum Anliegen des Klienten gehört.