What do you do if your feedback is not well-received by your team?

I ask myself: where did I fail to connect with the team? Is it the content of the feedback? It is the words I use that creates misunderstandings? Or did I trigger something more fundamental that we should discuss? Or perhaps it reveals that the process was not inclusive enough, which means that we need to go back a few steps... Most importantly: never blame the other and keep your eye on the ball on what you want to achieve. And never, ever take resistance to feedback personally. Because when your ego mutes your ability to listen, you should speak with yourself first.

We have an inbuilt tendency to take feedback too personally because of our easily triggered survival brain 🧠 . By centering ourselves we bring our curious brain back online to proceed constructively. How to center yourself? 1. Shift your posture to more upright and relaxed. 2. Breathe in, lengthen the spine a little bit more, exhale and relax tension down the front of the body (jaw, shoulders, belly). 3. Become aware of the space around you, filling it with your presence, include your colleague in this space (this gives the message to both nervous systems 'we're in this together') 4. Imagine the words of the feedback landing in the space between you, this increases being able to look at it constructively. Try it and see for yourself.

As I grow, I'm learning that it is very important to not shrink/erase yourself when receiving negative reception. It is important in that moment to internally recall the intention of your feedback, and attune yourself to the other/s in the conversation. Now that you've given your feedback, is that all that is needed? Offer to restate, or to provide more information if helpful. Assuming your feedback was coming from a sincere and educated place of intention, hold to it without taking it personal if the hearers respond negatively. The response of another person is a reflection on their current state, not on the value of your feedback.

My father was a wise man and always told us to reflect before you react. There may be some value in how the team responded. It will give you an opportunity to grow.

In this case, self-reflection should be coupled with empathy. Put yourself in your team’s shoes. Why did they feel that way? What made them react in a certain way?

Giving feedback is one of the most important component of being a leader. It requires good preparation and structure to bring the message to the table in a professional and respectful way paying also attention to the selection of the words we are using. Some feedback might require some time to digest and reflect so offering a follow-up session is for sure in my personal experience a good and constructive approach. Nevertheless can happen that conversation goes in a different direction...self reflection and confronting with the team will show that we are walking the talk and taking also in consideration their feedback to improve our communication.

As a leader there are many times and circumstances that the initial response from my team isn't well-received. I've found that I have to be honest with myself about my motives and my delivery of the message and feedback I offer while being empathetic to where exactly my message meets the members of our team. All of us are people that should be treated with respect so understanding what their needs are emotionally as well as professionally is a critical consideration as I shape my feedback to empower and encourage their development. By doing this, I'm able to individually and collectively provide direction and accountability while trusting each team member to bring their best to bear as stake holders in our business.

When reflecting, consider each person's communication style. Do they prioritize warmth, or intellect? What sensitivities or sore spots might each person have? Now ask yourself, which way did your feedback lean? Did you ask for permission before delivering the feedback? What reactions did you see in the body language or hear verbally? When we communicate on a different level from how the recipient prefers to be communicated to, this causes friction, especially for feedback.

If your feedback is not well-received by your team, it's crucial to handle the situation with empathy and professionalism. First, take a step back to understand why the feedback was received poorly. Is it the delivery, timing, or content? Next, engage in open and honest communication with the team members involved. Listen actively to their perspectives, acknowledge their feelings, and clarify any misunderstandings. Offer constructive solutions or alternatives, and be open to adjusting your approach based on their feedback. Building trust and maintaining a positive, collaborative atmosphere is key to navigating feedback challenges effectively.

Not just stop at why, but set a curiosity mindset to find the answer how can it happen. Consider the way you address the context (communication style), whether you address it in the right moment (timing), is there any chance to rewrite the context to be understood (reframe for assurance), make sure to emphasize the context is for mutual improvement, encourage to have their insights first to make sure they understand the context. Show how grateful and appreciate you are to have their prior feedback.

A good leader will address the elephant in the room by acknowledging their feedback wasn't well received. A great leader will additionally take responsibility that they could have handled it better. This sort of leader will ask the team how they wish it would have gone differently, and will follow through immediately on implementing the team's input (where it makes sense).

When you open the dialogue for feedback, resist the temptation of jumping into conclusion. Pause, clarify while you check for their understanding and offer alternatives of what, how it could be done. Once they know they are involved, the agreement part on next steps is easier than you thought.

Encountering resistance to your feedback is normal. Here's what you can do: Reflect: Was your feedback clear, specific, and actionable? Did it come across overly critical? Consider if the timing or approach could be improved. Seek Clarity: Talk to your team member privately. Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective on the feedback. Adjust Approach: Focus on collaboration. Instead of just delivering feedback, have a conversation where you explore solutions together.

Die Offenheit des Dialogs wird im Wesentlichen durch den Grad an gegenseitigen Vertrauen messbar. Insbesondere die Haltung (mindset) zur selbstkritischen Reflektion ggü. dem Team ist sehr bedeutsam. Die Art und Weise der Rhetorik in der Klärungssituation ist der Katalysator des Lösungsraums. Das bedeutet speziell, dass eine wertschätzende und eigenverletzliche Haltung hilfreich sein kann. Organisatorisch ist es sehr bedeutsam, dass es genügend Zeit und keine Ablenkungen (Fokus) bei der Dialoggestaltung gibt.

One Presupposition from NLP I have found useful is, 'The meaning of your communication is the response you get.' So the first step is to examine and analyze what I need to change - words, language, tone, tenor, body language, etc. The 2nd step is to use the SCARF Model framework. This helps in creating psychological safety. The 3rd step is to ask for what has been understood by the recipients where they paraphrase their understanding of my feedback. Provide feedback on the work the person has done and not on the person themselves. If it's about behaviour, then be objective and speak only about the specific behaviour. Discuss the way forward and steps that the recipients will take to address the issue.

Ive always found it helpful to ask those who I had full and transparent relationships with how I may have missed or where the gap was. I then course correct… whether it’s something I could’ve delivered in a different way (sometimes it’s a matter of how certain words are interpreted) or helping them to understand the content with more information.

Fostering an open dialogue is key. Remind everyone, including yourself, that you're seeking actionable feedback. The best type doesn't just highlight what was "wrong"; it provides ways to improve. Ideally, you have developed a trusting and respectful relationship with and amongst your team. If you haven't, you may want to start with anonymous feedback, reviewed publicly. This can help those providing the feedback really see that what they say is valued and needed, and that the receiver can laugh at themselves, give themselves grace and receive the feedback without blowing a gasket. If done well, this should only be needed once.

My team has daily virtual hangouts where we connect on life and work. Typically, if my feedback didn't land well or the team was down or stressed, we used these sessions to address the elephant in the room. I would start the conversation by sharing that I could have delivered or timed the feedback more effectively and open up the discussion to discuss what I could do differently next time from their perspective. We have a lot of trust in our team, and everyone feels safe opening up in front of each other. However, I would also give people the option to follow up with me individually during our one-on-ones or another time that works best for them.

One thing I have found works well is to have open dialogue with team on how could we proceed further? This throws lot of options and make team members accountable for solutions implemented.

Well, many a times, Team's immediate and financial goal metrics are not in synch with long Term goals. Short Term is too important and too time consuming to focus on Long Term .

If you have a long history of rubbing people the wrong way with your feedback, it could be time to hire a coach or undergo communication training. Check with your manager or HR to see what options are available to you internally, or your company might even be willing to sponsor your coaching or training.

Flexibility is crucial in leadership, especially when feedback isn't received well, often due to a clash in values. Effective strategies include fostering an open dialogue and genuinely listening to understand differing perspectives. Find the reasons for disagreement—whether it's defensiveness or unclear role expectations—to adjust your approach. Reflect on your communication style; coming across as too authoritative can block receptiveness. Adjusting to being more open and less directive, along with considering changes to the feedback process, such as regular, structured sessions, can foster a more positive environment and reduce defensiveness.

Adjusting your approach involves actively listening to your team's responses and understanding the root causes of their reactions. Implement a more collaborative feedback process where team members feel safe to express their views and contribute to solutions. Tailor your communication style to match the team's dynamics, ensuring clarity and positivity, emphasizing feedback as a tool for growth rather than criticism. Incorporate regular check-ins to monitor progress and adapt strategies as needed. By creating an environment where feedback is seen as a constructive part of the team's development, you encourage a culture of openness, mutual respect, and continuous improvement.

The quality of your feedback is not determined by your intention but by the result. So it is up to you to adjust your communication until it achieves the desired goal.

Step back, or as William Ury puts in in his great book “Getting to yes with yourself and other worthy opponents” - go to balcony. Pause. Give space, don’t be afraid of silence. Think about the individuals-because one size does not fit all. Establish as carefully as you can, exactly who thinks what. To do this you can use questions to check and clarify exactly what they’ve understood. Ask them to reflect back your message. After all, we all see/hear things how we are, not necessarily how they are. Ensure that your delivery of the feedback was interrupted as you intended. Take on board any misconceptions and clarify. Any new information you need to process can be gathered to form a new way to approach the feedback

When onboarding a new employee or onboarding to a new role or organization, asking employees how they want to receive reinforcing and redirecting feedback is helpful. I also share the expectation that I expect them to give me feedback as well. This approach helps employees understand that the team will have a feedback culture if it doesn't already. Suppose a pattern emerges and one of your employees consistently doesn't receive your feedback well. In that case, that is an opportunity to have the conversation again, be honest and transparent, and share why you're having this conversation again. Let your employees know that you value your relationship with them and that you want to be more effective in your approach.

Ich bin der festen Überzeugung, dass man nicht nur einen Ansatz haben sollte, sondern dieser situativ die unterschiedlichen Teammitglieder andersartig anspricht: Frei nach dem Motto: "Jeder sucht sich das heraus, was ihm anspricht". Hierzu benötigt man ein sehr exakte Kommunikation und das Talent, Stimmungen direkt zu erspüren und direkt im Dialog seinen Ansatz anzupassen. Aus tiefenpsychologischer Sicht kann dieser Ansatz ein Maximum an psychologischer Sicherheit im Team dauerhaft vermitteln.

What worked for me is linking the feedback to the the bigger picture and share any concerns/suggestions It is really important that you prompt their thinking and aim to "just right" environment rather than shooting to the stars. Make sure you make commitments you can keep

I take my approach from my time in the Army, performing quarterly one-on-one check-ins with our direct reports. These sessions should focus on understanding their challenges, recognizing their achievements, and setting clear, achievable goals. It's crucial to create a supportive environment where feedback is constructive and aimed at professional growth. Encourage open dialogue, where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns. Additionally, offer resources and training opportunities to aid their development. This personalized support boosts morale and aligns individual growth with organizational objectives, fostering a culture of continuous improvement and mutual respect.

I like to link feedback to engagement. I might ask an employee to do some research on the benefits of feedback and the importance of the employee/boss relationship so they can understand why it is important for the two of us to work on this together. I might also ask them to research or google 'I don't receive my boss' feedback well' to find some additional strategies to try and discuss during our next one on one that either one of us can try. Typically I find that if an employee sees that you are invested in creating a better feedback relationship with them it helps to build trust which makes it easier to provide each other with feedback.

I try to only give difficult feedback if I truly feel it will serve the individual, the team, or the organization. I aim to reflect in order to clearly understand why I think it will serve them and be able to articulate it. If it’s not well received, I hope that my sincerity and care will demonstrate that the feedback was meant to serve. When you take actions like this, let people know you understand how it affects them, even if the effect is adverse. Tell them why you are doing it and how you hope it serves them. Even if they don’t like it, hopefully they will at least respect your sincerity and you’ll be able to maintain trust.

I can't stress how important consistent one on ones are. Having a dedicated time each week to check in with your employee to offer support, answer questions, and follow up on key results and issues hands down makes all leaders and teams more effective.

Die Nachbetrachtung gestalte ich seit vielen Jahre in Form eines offenrn und regelmäßigen Nachfragens. Hier müssen Ängste und Barrieren abgebaut werden, da konstruktives Feedback ansonsten nicht möglich ist. Wichtig dabei ist, dass diese Art der Nachverfolgung niemals verpflichtend odef gar mit Druck ggü. den Teammitgliedern erfolgt. Eine schriftliche Dokumentation kann hier die nötige Transparenz aufrechterhalten, damit auch nach einigen Jahre daran noch gearbeitet werden kann.

This is where most leaders will drop the ball, or most people receiving feedback actually. We don't go back to the feedback provider and check-in to see how we're doing. This can happen because we think we've solved the issue or we assume they'll bring it up again if we haven't solved it or we're afraid we haven't solved it yet and don't want to be confronted by that. Always remember that people provide feedback because they care and they believe in your potential. If you don't circle back, they may not think you value or care about their feedback and may be less likely to provide it in the future. Which is not what you want. You want to keep being of value and growing in value; you need feedback to do so.

Listen actively: Encourage open dialogue and validate team concerns. Seek understanding: Identify the root cause of resistance. Clarify intentions: Emphasize feedback's aim at growth and shared goals. Provide context: Explain feedback with specific examples and impact. Collaborate on solutions: Involve the team in finding constructive ways forward. Offer support: Provide resources for improvement and development. Follow up: Regularly check progress, address concerns, and offer ongoing support.

Encourage Feedback Exchange: It's important for managers to build a culture of sharing open feedback with each other. Managers should implement the Start-Continue-Stop model openly, where everyone in the team should be given an open platform to give feedback.