How can you use the Narrative model to reframe your clients' life stories?

Externalizing the problem is absolutely the first step! Another externalizing or dissociation technique is to ask the client to fly up to a corner in the room or far enough away that they feel safe and look down at themselves and observe what they see.

Das Narrative-Modell ist ein kraftvolles Werkzeug im Coaching, das Gesichtslesen und Körpersprache integriert. Durch das Erfassen von Mimik und Gesten während der Erzählung erkennen Coaches verborgene Emotionen. Das Modell ermöglicht, Lebensgeschichten umzuschreiben, indem es durch Mimik und Körperausdruck auf unentdeckte Elemente hinweist. So schaffen Coaches eine tiefere Verbindung und fördern Selbstreflexion. Gesichtslesen und Körpersprache stärken die narrative Neugestaltung und steigern die Effektivität im Coachingprozess.

The first step is to listen actively. Allow the person to express his thoughts, emotions, and experiences without interruption. Analyze the narrative to identify recurring themes, significant events, and patterns in his life story. Seek for alternative perspectives on his experiences. Help him see events from different angles, considering factors like intentions, external circumstances, or the influence of others.

Another way to help clients externalize the problem is to ask your client to state the facts of the problem - things that could be proven in a court of law, or that everyone would agree with. Separating the facts from the client's thoughts and opinions about the problem can help them begin to see the problem from other perspectives, and gain some objectivity around the situation.

Mapping the Problem's Influence: You can coach the individual to map out or visualize how the problem affects various aspects of their life, such as work, personal relationships, and self-esteem. By doing this, the person can see the extent of the problem's influence and identify areas where they might start to make changes. Identifying Exceptions: Ask your coachee to identify times when the problem was not in control or was less influential. These exceptions can provide clues to strategies or behaviors that they can use more deliberately to mitigate the problem's impact.

In my practice, leveraging the Narrative model alongside NLP techniques, I encourage clients to detach from their issues by externalizing them. Instead of feeling engulfed by a sense of inadequacy, we might explore, "What form does 'Doubt' take when it speaks to you?" This reframing helps clients perceive challenges as external adversaries rather than inherent flaws. It allows them to engage in a more objective battle with these issues, fostering resilience and a proactive stance towards personal growth. This method not only empowers clients but also cultivates a deeper emotional connection, making their journey of transformation more insightful and impactful.

A few of my favorite questions for helping clients explore alternative stories that are directly relevant to the current problem: - What else could be true here? - How could the opposite be true? - How do you want to feel about this situation? - What evidence can you find that you [are good enough, can overcome this issue, whatever applies]? When you guide a client in exploring alternative stories, it's important as the coach to remain objective, not to try to push them in a certain direction, and allow the client to choose their own perspective.

Ich habe gute Erfahrungen damit, dass die Coachees ihre Problematik in Ich-Form aufschreiben und dann ChatGPT auffordern, drei möglichst unterschiedliche Erzählvarianten zu entwickeln, ohne dabei die entscheidenden Eckdaten zu verändern.

Highlighting Exceptions: "Are there times or situations where this problem seems less powerful or absent? What do you think contributes to that?" Evaluating the Problem's Costs and Benefits: "Has this problem ever brought anything positive into your life? What has it taken away or made more difficult?" Re-authoring the Narrative: "If you could write a different story about your relationship with this problem, what would that story look like?" Imagining a Preferred Future: "What would your life look like if this problem's influence was significantly reduced or eliminated? How would you feel, and what would you be doing differently?"

As humans, our stories are often ingrained in our brains, and they can take time and effort to change. Once your client has identified a "preferred story" or a point of view around a circumstance, let them know that their brain my offer up the old story again in the future, which is normal. Encourage your client to notice this type of thinking, think through why the old story isn't valid, and to think through the new story and the evidence that supports it. Over time, this practice will help your client break down the neural pathways associated with the old story, and build new ones associated with their preferred story.

Exploring Values and Beliefs: "What values or beliefs are reflected in this new story you're embracing? How do these values guide your actions differently now?" Recognizing Strengths and Skills: "What strengths or skills are you using when you live according to this new story? How have these strengths helped you in other areas of your life?" Detailing the Future: "If you continue to live out this new story, what do you imagine your life will look like a year from now? What changes do you see?" Incorporating Relationships: "Who in your life supports this new story? How do they contribute to this narrative, and how do they respond to the changes in you?

In addition to having a Client summarize and evaluate the changes they have made, I suggest having the Client literally celebrate as they would a holiday, birthday, some other large achievement, etc. The instruction would be to plan a celebration for the achievement. Invite others to join in and during the celebration, share with them the journey of reaching that achievement, starting with some details of the unfavorable beginning and ending with how they feel about having arrived at the achievement.

The Narrative Model is a powerful tool to reshape and refine our life stories. When working with clients, consider these key steps: Identify Themes: Help your clients recognize recurring themes in their life. What are the central motifs that have shaped their experiences? Challenge Assumptions: Encourage clients to question their assumptions and interpretations of events. By revisiting past experiences with a fresh perspective, they can uncover new insights and possibilities. Craft Empowering Narratives: Guide clients in reconstructing their stories in a way that empowers them. Highlight moments of resilience, growth, and triumph. This not only reframes their past but sets the stage for a more positive and fulfilling future.

If the initial life stoy is negative, you need to work through the emotions of your client as a first step. These may be anger, sadness, shame etc. then practice forgiveness: "I forgive myself for judging myself as /for... the truth is..." then you can move on to more positive stories