How can you manage unrealistic expectations from parents?

Based on my experience, actively engaging with parents is crucial to understanding their perspectives. It's common for every parent to aspire for their child to excel, contributing to a tendency to overestimate their children's abilities. Clear and honest communication is paramount. The school where I currently work utilizes CAT4 assessments. These assessments try to predict what students are expected to achieve in each subject. While these assessments aren't flawless, they are relatively accurate. Assisting parents in comprehending such assessments is essential for them to form realistic expectations.

First, LISTEN! Let parents speak and don't react immediately. They are often coming from a place of fear, uncertainty and lack of information. Once they finish speaking, you can respond. Often if you present them with case studies/ data to demonstrate your point, they will listen and it will be much more effective.

In my experience, parents want to partner with the school. They want what’s best for their children, and just need to be heard and seen. Once a parent knows that they are in partnership, then expectations can be normed together.

Parents are often misunderstood by schools especially if they or their family had negative experiences in their own schooling. Building trust with families that never developed it in schools is challenging but not impossible to achieve. Begin by truly listening and then taking action that authentically address their concerns while also managing their expectations for what can be accomplished. However, small visible wins begin to build the necessary relationship to begin to trust schools again.

Parents are happy to be carried along through constant communication and acting on feedback. The vision and mission should be reiterated while the progress of the children should be highlighted, and the next steps discussed to enhance growth and development.

By Acknowledging and celebrating the achievements, no matter how small. By showcasing one’s efforts and successes, one can demonstrate one’s commitment and dedication, which may help adjust unrealistic expectations over time. Managing unrealistic expectations is an ongoing process. Patience, empathy, and effective communication play key roles in fostering understanding and finding common ground.

Parents have a perspective that needs to be respected and understood. Most of the time it is founded on good motives for the child.

Education undeniably is a partnership and the strength of that partnership is solely dependent upon the strength of the RELATIONSHIPS that have been established between teacher and parents. Once these bonds have been established, effective communication channels are opened, trust and understanding result and co-operation between" the partners" flourishes.

In my experience to manage unrealistic expectations from parents, it is important to adopt a wide-lens view of the problem. First, we must identify the root cause of parents’ unrealistic expectations. This should be investigated using more than one source of evidence to ensure we are capturing an accurate and precise picture of the problem. Next, we must design a communication plan where we are able to convey pupils’ realistic progress using more than one channel and across several time points. Across the board, educators must listen to parents’ expectations with compassion, understanding, and open mindedness.

When it comes to education and parenting, communication is key. Update parents on stengths and weaknesses of the student and work with student closely with meticulous planning that is adapted to their needs. You'll see an impact where you can then present the evidence to the parent to ensure they are satisfied with the learning taking place in the classroom for their child. Give them advice and tips on support they can put in place at home. Reassurance is key. Once a positive relationship is built with the parent and they are satisfied, unrealistic expectactions won't exist. Only realistic and logical expectations will.

Something is missing here: There is a lot of discussion on this thread about having good communication with parents. Loads about telling and sharing with parents ( all very important.) Sadly, there is little on listening to parents. Having a good parent voice process ( and I mean more than a parent survey), will give you deeper insight into the story at home. You don't have to agree with all that parents say, but it can help address some of those elephants in the room and refine what you do.

I think one of the most important things to do is to work out if their expectations are actually that unrealistic. Have we as a school set out what our vision / plan is and communicated this? This will help parents understand the programme and how they can make best use of it, and what is expected of them and their child. Be honest, be open to new ideas and explain openly why something happens in a certain way, and why other things can’t happen, budget, resources or just that your philosophy is different. Speak face to face as often as possible and engage parents in the journey. If this is done well they will be the greatest supporters and help the school towards achieving those goals. It takes time, effort, and the ability to listen!

Based on my experience, regular and clear communication with parents is crucial to manage unrealistic expectations and creating a pragmatic mindset. Setting realistic expectations, sharing perspective, discussing tangible goals can be proven beneficial . Openly address concerns or limitations, fostering a transparent and understanding relationship with your parents.

One thing I've found helpful is to invite parents to an in-person meeting where I establish common ground early in the conversation. The most critical common ground I strive for is parents' awareness that teachers and administrators genuinely care about their child and their child's healthy growth and academic achievement. With this foundation, parents are more likely to trust an educator's perspective about strengths and challenges their child possesses. I also endeavor to start and finish the conversation focused on the student's gifts and admirable attributes. If parents' expectations are running a bit on the unrealistic side of the spectrum, that will also be discussed sandwiched between appreciation for their care and involvement.

It is all about communication! Communicating with parents regularly and giving them a constructive feedback is essential to meet their expectations and avoid any future concerns. Parents are always attentive to any change or details related to their kids and if these changes are communicated effectively before they ask, half of the problem will be solved. For instance, teachers/employees sometimes resist to change because they don’t understand the reason behind it. But if it was communicated effectively in advance then the percentage of resistance will be less.

To manage unrealistic expectations from parents, it is important to adopt a wide-lens view of the problem. First, we must identify the root cause of parents’ unrealistic expectations. This should be investigated using more than one source of evidence to ensure we are capturing an accurate and precise picture of the problem. Next, we must design a communication plan where we are able to convey pupils’ realistic progress using more than one channel and across several time points. Across the board, educators must listen to parents’ expectations with compassion, understanding, and open mindedness.

Some of the keys that help:- Communicate continuously with the parent and keep them abreast of their child's performance. Don't leave any query unanswered. Always keep a track of the child's progress, performance and especially dates of when you contacted the parent or sent any communication. Invite the parent to attend a class with you as transparency in education is vital for parents so that they will have a clear idea of the child's performance .

One method I have found to be very effective to enhance communication is to provide students with a template email in which complete about their own learning and educational successes and struggles. Once they complete the email it is sent to their own parents and ccd to me. This tends to open up communication in which the student feels they are contributing in a meaningful way.

A key aspect of maintaining a positive relationship with parents is also making sure that they understand that this is a partnership. You should share their child's progress and be honest while remaining supportive of them and their situation. I personally share my number with parents so they can reach out when problems arise or if there is an upcoming attendance issue or just to say happy holidays. When parents understand that their teacher has their child's best interest at heart, and it is evident, parents are more receptive to feedback. In conclusion, do not fall into the pitfall of only calling parents when things are going wrong. Call and tell them about even the smallest of classroom victories. Remaining positive is the key.

Communicating with unrealistic parents can be a positive experience. I enjoy educating parents about the range of ages and stages during child development by asking "did you know questions" in a fun yet matter of fact way. Another strategy I've used when helping parents understand realistic learning expectations for their children is to share some state learning guidelines or expectations then encourage the parents to be partners in being their child's first teacher. We discuss learning styles, what children should know or be doing around certain age ranges and how to work with their child's teacher to challenge child outcomes then scaffold learning upwards to the next level. Acknowledge parents are experts on their own child. 😉

Making parents aware of the reality of their child's circumstances can really not be underemphasized as far as managing unrealistic expectations are concerned. This way the educator is not left second-guessing his or herself or their ability to deliver whatsoever. Take for instance an SEN/SOD learner whose IEP is usually very different from the rest of your students. But the parents (especially the mother) of this student expect their child to achieve the very same objectives as your non-SEN/SOD learners. Therefore, educating them about the benefits of setting realistic expectations is key to solving this problem so none of the parties are left with a lower self-esteem and lowered motivation to keep doing what they're supposed to do.

Es muy importante la formación de los padres de familia, las últimas generaciones han cambiado drásticamente y las formas de conversar, de aprender y de aplicarlas en la vida diaria no son las mismas que hace 15 años. Por este motivo se hace necesaria la formación de los padres de familia en el proceso de desarrollo y en esta visión para que, lo que se haga en el hogar sea reforzado en el colegio y viceversa. En esta transparencia y trabajo conjunto, es bueno ir abriendo, progresivamente, la oportunidades, los conceptos de propósito de vida, de realización personal, de autoconocimiento y autopercepción, entre otros. Con estos espacios las familias tendrán el espacio necesario para modelar sus expectativas en forma real.

Unrealistic expectations from parents can be a challenge for schools to navigate. Communication is key: Schedule regular parent-teacher meetings, parent education workshops, or open house events to encourage two-way conversations. Transparency: Be transparent about academic assessments, student progress, and learning challenges. Regular updates: Proactively share newsletters, emails, or social media posts highlighting student achievements, upcoming events, and challenges faced by the school. Data-driven approach: Use standardised tests and internal assessments to set realistic academic goals for each student. Holistic development: Emphasise the importance of a well-rounded education. Focus on building trust and collaboration.

Transparency, consistency and empathy. Manage expectations from the get go and have an open door policy so small problems do not escalate. Show kindness and understanding, so much stems from parents being surprised by decisions and feeling like their child has been badly done too. Diffuse situations with facts. Perhaps a more controversial view, send a holding email- whether you are busy or not- give them 48hrs to calm down as a parent.

We want our children to achieve high. This stems from wanting the best for their future - therefore, parents emotions are on high alert. Continuous and fixated 'desiring' of high results/outcomes clouds judgement & realism creating a vaccum of denial at times then unrealistic expectations. Constant pressure to achieve high leads onto affecting the child's social & emotional intelligence resulting in a domino effect in life. Managing expectations - direct, early, clear and honest approach. Providing advice & guidance on areas of improvement. Stressing parental support is key in their child's educational journey. Above all explaining that their childs first goal in life is HAPPINESS and that their emotional well-being supercedes an A*.

An important role of the school is to set expectations and educate the community and that includes parents. Parents can benefit from workshops, articles, blogs and discussion boards to help them understand setting realistic expectations for their student.

You and your expectations are actually the most grounding factors for your child. If you set expectations towards 100% scores, cracking entrances, getting into Tier 1 colleges as the sole goal for your child, they will largely be concerned about these goals alone. If your set expectations around values, good scores, competing against self, bettering previous own scores, healthy choices and lifestyles, your children will work towards those. And let's face it, if you make values asks skills as your priority, marks and grades will organically fall in place somewhere or the other. Maybe not in the niche that you had conceived , but that's ok. Our children must learn to discover their own potential against grounded expectations.

That's a tough one! Parents want the best for their children (there are hardly any exceptions), so they should be respected for that and regarded as allies not enemies in the educational process. If it happens that parents or care-takers do not have a realistic view on certain abilities of their kids it might be a good way to let them observe it. I did that once or twice (usually its not necessary, because a simple explaination is enough). The caretakers were grateful for it as they understood that their child is really not able right now to do a certain thing (for example counting). This goes with a better understanding of how to continue supporting the childs process which is helpful for everyone.

Encouraging parents to embrace realistic expectations can create an environment where children develop a growth mindset, resilience, creativity, and autonomy. By illustrating with examples and success stories, we can inspire parents to support their children in navigating challenges and achieving their goals with a balanced perspective. This approach not only enhances the child's well-being but also fosters a more positive and constructive parent-child relationship.

It is imperative to integrate the home and the school, there should be a mutual coexistence between the happenings of the school and the happenings at home, this way, learning becomes real and holistic. In most cases, there is a disconnect between the school and the home, hence the learner finds it difficult to further apply classroom learnings to day to day home activities. However, when parents are actively involved in the learning process of the child within the school, they will help create avenues at home which will further aid the child's learning towards becoming whole, unique and practicable.

Invitations to participate in fronter-themed classroom activities, school events, or parent-teacher conferences allow parents to witness the complexities and advancements firsthand (get them away from dated themes that hold little excitement). For example, there is a huge need to involve parents in AI education. Encouraging home support for AI learning, coupled with seeking feedback, helps parents appreciate their children's efforts in this rapidly evolving field, leading to a more realistic understanding and adjustment of their expectations. Get parents saying, "oh, I wish I could come back to school."

Few parents are learning experts. In fact, many coaches aren't either. You may have parents telling you about the latest gimmicks or previous myths, like learning styles, growth mindsets or 21st-century skills. Instead, share your curriculum and intentions. Invite them to be involved in sessions if appropriate. But, also, say that there will be "closed" sessions, to allow the children space to explore themselves. Give the parents pointers on what's important to look for and ask their children about. Remember some parents will be totally invested in what you say, taking everything literally and worried if they haven't ticked a particular box. And other parents won't listen at all, and look for other criteria. Clarity and intentions!

From a sports point of view… I think we should always be frank and honest with our constant communication with pupils/family and ALWAYS tell them that’s YOUR analysis and opinion. We are not GOD and pupils may shine with other models/methods/coaches/environments.

One way I was able to support my students was by reaching out to their families to learn more about them. As educators, we are fully aware that the learning triangle is complete when parents, teachers, students, and the school work together. Once the parents become familiarized with the educational system, they will refrain from having unrealistic expectations. And, even if they do, we can patiently explain why those expectations can't be fulfilled.

I agree, invite them on the journey. Be transparent and share the goals, the pathway and the learning steps. Parents that engage and feel included and welcomed will often then spread the word to other parents in the group. A teacher who is confident enough to share their process will be embraced by parents and students in the school community and will ease any concerns and align the outputs with the expectations.

Para que isso aconteça é necessário a utilização de exemplos relacionados com o ambiente e com o social dos alunos. Exemplos e explicações que possam ser compreendidas e usadas no dia a dia. Essa forma colocará relações da Escola com o aluno e a família. Outro fator altamente importante é saber e usar habilidades e conhecimentos do período sensível de cada idade.

As a university advisor I try to keep my advice student-centred, but emphasising to parents that they are key partners in the process. I ask every applicant's parent to fill out a detailed questionnaire and also offer family appointments once I have met the student 1:1. Placing students at the centre can help refocus parents' expectations by ensuring that it's the student who's voice is being heard and their interests that are most important.

Parents who have high expectations should be invited to participate in classroom activities. They can see how your system works, what guidelines have been set and how the child works in that environment.

Parents and school should always be in communication. It has to be a communication in both ways. If parents do not involve in their kids education and work as a team with school, there is not going to be any positive result. Home and school expectations most of the time are the same because both institutions, family and school, work in benefit of a student. If both, school and family do not work as a hole, the confusion that students will experiment could make then believe that they do not belong to any place.

Ask yourself what is the problem here? Is the parent genuinely being unrealistic or is the tension that there is a lack of budget / resource / capacity at play? Sometimes, it takes deep reflection, active listening and transparency to work through these differences. How could you work through them with an open mind rather than a potentially alienating position this parent is being intentionally difficult. How might you manage that discussion productively whilst building the relationship instead of climbing into a trench to peer over the battlements? There is always Another Way.

Absolutely! When I meet parents who have unrealistic demands or have been rude with my team, I remind them of one thing 'Happy Teachers Make Happy Students!' Reiterating that the teacher is here for the students and their goal is development of the right skills and dispositions. Its important to trust the person who has undergone rigourous trianing and induction for this job. Something that works is also asking parents what they think might help alleviate their concerns..

From an unrealstic expectations perspective of "where my kid will attend university" I liked to equip parents with a statement of goal setting with a baseline of love. "As your parent I want you to attend 'x', 'y,' or 'z' (highly selective institutions), but you need to know that if you choose to attend 'h' (institution that is likely attainable) that will be ok with us because we know......" This helps set boundaries for them and doesn't belittle their expectations.

Firstly understand what do you meant by realistic and unrealistic. Do you mean (honestly) in terms of your experience and expertise - or theirs. Are you best places to support the outcomes? Are they co-designed with parents? If not, why not? See this as a conversation, a collaboration & not a battle. Your part in their child’s life is fleeting. Consider what are you doing with the baton - supporting the cause, helping the student to reach their next goal - or beating the family with it.

Esta talvez seja a parte mais dificil: estabelecer limites. Muitos pais possuem receio do autoritarismo que, talvez, tenham vivido em sua infância, e com isso, os filhos passam a ter liberdade demais, o que pode dificultar o amadurecimento, levando ao distânciamento com seus pais.

There is no need to have unrealistic expectations for parents. It’s a partnership and they know their child. Leadership of learning is collaborative - and does not need a boss approach with parents. Once you establish a rapport with parents it’s also important on focus on the well-being of the child, the parents and the teacher. There is no need to have conflict with parents - its their child and its their learning, you dont own it!

This is very important but tough. Parents want to know about their child, school life and often quickly. Communication protocols, clarity in who to communicate with, when and by what method laid out clearly for parents and communicated to them regularly is important to creating a predictable culture of communication and this one that is manageable. Asking for feedback from parents about how the comms are working can help shape what you offer. It’s likely that your community will all want something slightly different, so once you have a picture of the community need, identifying and sticking to the boundaries and expectations will create predictability for all stakeholders.

I agree. Most parents think since they have attended school, they know everything about education! Sometimes we have to gently remind them to let educators do their job.

We did this with photos! Whilst it’s lovely to get a photo of your little angel smiling and looking content it can be a huge burden on educators to capture the moment, check who’s been snapped, send it on. This all distracts them from being present with the children. So we explain this on our new parent tour! That a photo is captured if we can, and that rather than thinking absence of photo means the child isn’t happy… it’s much the opposite xx trust is key! Being open in other ways so parents rely less on a photo from the start sets good healthy barriers. Then be consistent! Do what you say you are doing!

This is absolutely necessary. There will definitely be some instances where parents will set unrealistic expectations with the teachers. It's critical to set clear boundaries about communication so they do not expect it any time at their convenience. Also ensure that parents are communicated clearly about the policies and professional limitations of your job, so it doesn't affect your work.

Many unrealistic expectations arise from fear. I have seen this first hand in the 11+ world. Many of my parents' fears stem from anxiety over failing to get in to a good grammar school. The alternative seems impossible to face. Yet I work hard on looking at the positives in the alternatives. We discuss what it means not to go to grammar school and what failing might tell them about their child's needs. We face the 'worst case scenario ' head on and look at realistic plan Bs. It reduces the stress and panic, not just for the parents, but their children too.

Early in my career, a mentor shared with me that when you need to have a really difficult conversation with parents, wait until after a good night's sleep. I initially thought he was joking but realized that waiting a day to have a conversation, when possible, does a wonderful job of allowing people to calm down and allow cooler heads to prevail. The time also allowed me to get my head around the conversation and to be prepared for different outcomes and questions.

One thing I’ve found helpful is to start with an assessment - formal or informal - but without any prior information. And to communicate that process to parents. That way, you can provide a report based on your professional judgment. I’ve found that this sometimes ‘cleanses their palette’, so to speak.

I think empathy is a key player here. Showing parents that you understand their expectations or fears, whilst balancing them with your professional opinion, acknowledges their views, without devaluing them. It’s never easy having to share conflicting viewpoints, however, redirecting parents on a path more suitable for their child’s well-being is paramount.

The key is to have excellent communication and rapport with parents and carers. Engage all stakeholders in the school/college community and have an open door. Be present and contactable, open and honest with parents and carers. Give them your time. If they have a clear understanding of what you are doing and why then they are far less likely to have unrealistic expectations.

I’ve recently turned down a tutee, as the parents asked if I could guarantee they would get an A. No I can’t that comes down to the tutees hard work and commitment. I’m good, but I can’t perform miracles!

Don't forget that an engaged parent is a great thing! This is a parent who cares deeply about their child and his/her well-being. Educate them. Let them know what's typical age-appropriate progress, where their child shines, and where you and the parents can work together to help the child improve. I find that parents who might be a little overbearing can end up being great partners once you show them that you know what you're talking about AND that you respect their ability to learn and grow as well by teaching them what you know.

Explain that you're worried you can't meet their expectations. Tell them what you see for your future, even if the answer is “I don't know.” Proving that you're thinking about what's next - even if you're not sure - might make them feel more secure. Listen to what they have to say. When you start, consider the following tips: 1. Thank them for caring about your future but explain that you're worried that you can't meet their expectations. 2. Tell them a little bit about what you'd like to do in the future. ... 3. Listen to their thoughts, but if you feel they aren't seeing your perspective, agree to disagree.

The easiest way to manage expectation is to set expectations from the very beginning and make sure they are communicated clearly and understood. Even better, at the start of the year the teacher (in primary context) or the form tutor or head of year (in secondary context) can use a parent info session to agree realistic expectations with parents. That way, both parties own and agree on expectations instead of the school setting the expectations that parents may or may not agree with.

We might want to consider the "Generations" from when we were born and raised. It will give us a clearer perspective of how their outlook in life is shaped.