Like anything in life, sex drives have their ups and downs. And even someone with the most active sex life can encounter a slump where, let's be real, you just don't feel like it. Even me.
I don't know if it's how hectic my life has felt, how much busier my mind has felt, or if it's just the natural rhythm of me getting older – but I have not really been as lustful or as randy as I've been in the past several years. I'm not biting my lip from a solicited dick pic, and I'm damn sure not eager to bust it open for a real one.
Related: 4 Hit It From The Back Moves That Are Bound To Get You To Orgasm
I'm at a place where I'm perfectly content with a quickie with my vibrator and leaving the energy session of a half-hour romp to the left on "Read". Or, at least, I was at that place. Admittedly, along with my slump and lower sex drive, I had become a lot more complacent in how I showed up in the bedroom. Little did I know that that had a lot to do with my newfound feelings about my sex life. As with anything in life, in order to strengthen it and ensure its health, I have to work at it. Recently, I've experimented with some moves that helped remind me how much better sex is when you're present, open, and spice things up a bit. Tried and true is beautiful, but so is new and improved.
Click through the gallery below for 5 hot like fire sex positions that will reiginite your sex life:
The Amazon
Credit: Bad Girls Bible
The Amazon gives the woman all the power. The standard version features the man on his back with his legs raised in the air, knees bent back towards his chest. The woman then mounts him, crouching over him from above in a kneeling or squatting position (Planted Amazon). It takes a bit of flexibility, but the intensity felt in this position is worth the effort. And the power you feel in this one of a kind Woman On Top position is undeniably exhilarating.
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Originally published June 22, 2018
Featured image by Giphy
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At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Driven by a desire for change, many Americans, especially Black women, are considering a life beyond the U.S. If you’ve been considering a move, it's crucial to consider some key factors before you pack all your bags, sell your furniture, and build a life in another country. Below, we've gathered insights from three Black women who have successfully made the leap.
Motivations for Moving
Many who decide to move out of the country are motivated by the desire to escape the rat race. After Murray attended Afrotech in 2023, she started a targeted job search that landed her a remote tech role in Mexico City.
“After attending AfroTech in Austin, I was surprised to learn that Mexico City had a lot of tech opportunities," she says. “So I booked a flight for November to check out the city. I had a friend in the city show me around, help me expand my Spanish, and give me an early connection in the city. After my first trip in November 2023, I returned in February 2024 and realized I qualified for temporary residency because of a previous Tulum trip in 2021, which solidified my decision to move here.”
Imani Murray relocated to Mexico City.
Courtesy
In May 2022, Niki Benjamin and her husband decided to move to France to be closer to his family. Originally from New York, Benjamin quickly fell in love with the area’s beaches, charming villages, and relaxing lifestyle.
“Living in the South of France, there’s an emphasis on healthy food, a great healthcare system, and a slower pace of life, which were all major draws for me,” she explains. “I've found a sense of peace and well-being here that I didn't know could truly be possible.”
Tamika Hardy’s recent move out of the U.S. was prompted by her husband’s retirement and his ability to work remotely. Her children were grown, and they were both ready to embrace a slower pace of life. They landed on Merida, Mexico, which has become a hub for Black American expats.
“We chose Mérida for its incredible safety. It’s known as the second safest city in North America, which gave us peace of mind for starting our new chapter and building our empty nesters' home,” Hardy says. “Mérida checked all the boxes. It’s 20 minutes from the beach, has warm weather and healthier food options, and it’s an easy flight back to the U.S. to visit family.”
The Biggest Challenges in Moving
For Niki Benjamin, the move from New York to France was a test of resilience. She had a month to get rid of personal items, coupled with the complexities of settling into a new country and learning a new language, which made the transition more difficult. Benjamin also found herself missing the familiar comforts of home.
“I missed the 24-hour access to grocery stores, reality TV and pop culture, and American fashion brands,” she says. “But with a bit of creativity, the internet, and the generosity of family and friends sending care packages, I've been able to stay connected and indulge in a good deal of the comforting familiarities of home,” she says.
Niki Benjamin relocated to the South of France.
Courtesy
Hardy also had a whirlwind move from Maryland to Mexico. She sold her home in three days and only had 30 days to figure out the logistics of the move. Along with the quick move, adjusting to the slower-paced lifestyle was hard for the couple.
“Things like getting services or tasks done on my timeline just don’t happen the same way, and I had to learn patience,” she says. “We also don’t speak Spanish, which was initially challenging. To help, we’ve started taking Spanish lessons, which has been a fun and humbling experience. Over time, I’ve grown to appreciate the slower pace and the learning opportunities, but it was definitely an adjustment.”
The Importance of Building Community
While modern conveniences like online shopping and remote work can foster a sense of isolation, Imani Murray believes that moving to a new country requires a different approach. She emphasizes the need to be open to new experiences, meet new people, and build a community.
“When I first moved to Mexico City, I would randomly talk to people in the street, especially Black people, who always reciprocated,” she says. “I’m also connected to people through Facebook and WhatsApp group chats, which helps me find events and connect with people.”
Tamika Hardy and her husband relocated to Merida, Mexico.
Courtesy
Though Benjamin moved with her husband and lived close to her in-laws, she still prioritized making friends and building connections to make the transition easier.
“I immersed myself in the local culture by interacting with neighbors, frequenting local shops, and joining community activities,” she says. “Joining the local tennis club has allowed me to connect with people who share my interests and is a great place to practice my French. The slower pace of life in a small seaside village has made it easier to build relationships and feel a sense of belonging.”
Hardy built community in Merida by attending local gatherings, like girls’ night out, karaoke, and movie nights. The couple also took up pickleball, which she says is “a fun way to stay active but also an amazing way to bond with both locals and fellow expats.”
The First Steps to Take If You Want to Leave the U.S.
Murray says the most important thing is researching where you want to go and what you’ll need. She recommends joining expat groups online and connecting with people who already live there.
“Everywhere has its problems, but choose a place that feeds that need within you,” she says. “Check Facebook for groups (for me, it was Black Expats in Mexico City) and ask any questions you might have. At the end of the day, most people are willing to help you, so you do not have to do it alone.”
Benjamin echoes this advice and says to use YouTube and social media to get real-life insights and research destinations for things like climate, demographics, culture, food, cost of living, and job opportunities.
“Once you've narrowed your options, it's important to understand the visa and immigration process, the local job market, housing options, and the healthcare system,” she advises. “Connecting with other expats can also provide valuable advice and support. Also, consider taking a longer vacation to your desired destination(s) and approach the visit as a great opportunity to explore the local vibes.”
The Benefits of Life Outside of the U.S.
Murray says one of the biggest benefits of moving abroad is access to better food and a healthier lifestyle. “The US has so many pesticides, hormones, and GMOs that are restricted here,” she says. “I’ve found that my health has improved significantly. A lot of things are also more accessible here, like medicine and healthcare.”
Benjamin also says that she’s been able to embrace a healthier lifestyle by leaving the U.S. Benjamin is a certified Pilates instructor and last year, she started Wish You Were Here Retreats, which are aimed at women who want a wellness break.
“I've further embraced a healthier lifestyle thanks to the emphasis on fresh, local ingredients and the opportunity to be active and spend more time outdoors,” she says. “Accessing quality healthcare has also given me peace of mind.”
Though Hardy misses Target runs, Chick-fil-A, and Homegoods, she says the slower pace and beauty of Mexico make it worthwhile.
“We have less stress and a slower, more intentional way of living,” she says. “The food is fresher, and the lifestyle has given us room to focus on what matters: our health, our dreams, and each other. Living abroad has truly been a manifestation of the life we’ve always wanted.”
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